Page 60 of Ashes to Ashes

Chapter Twenty-Three

Rae

Ash’s wordsechoed through my head for what was probably the millionth time since he’d said them: “I love you too, baby. I love you so fucking much it hurts.”

He lovedme.

With that declaration, my entire world shifted on its axis. I’d told myself I didn’t need Ash’s love to make me whole again, but I couldn’t deny his heartfelt words went a long way toward plastering over the enormous cracks Ford’s betrayal had left in my foundation.

Now, I’d been smiling for five days straight, and I couldn’t remember the last time that had happened—if ever. Even when Ford had first told me he loved me, I hadn’t been this free, this weightless. I’d been too afraid that I’d do something wrong, that he would take it all back. Maybe it was because I was older and wiser, or maybe it was because I knew to the depths of my soul that Ash would never do that to me, but nothing could bring medown.

Not even the fact that the police still hadn’t found my stalker, or that I was having a hell of a difficult time with my album. The whole point of it had been to bare my soul, to tell the world through my music what I’d endured with Ford. But every day that I spent with Ash, the further away from that woman I felt, and the more distant I grew from the emotions that had fueled those lyrics. I could read the lines I’d written and remember who I’d been and why I’d felt the way I had, but I couldn’t feel it now … and that made every song fall flat when I opened my mouth tosing.

“Want to give it another take?” Ash asked from the other side of the glass.

Huffing out a sigh, I set my guitar aside. “No, I think I’m done with this one for today. I’m not even sure I want to include it on the album anymore. I sound like a whiny fuckingbaby.”

Taking off his earphones and hanging them on a rack, Ash beckoned me into the engineeringroom.

I hopped off my stool and cracked my aching knuckles. I glanced at the clock over the door as I stepped through, seeing that I’d been playing non-stop for five hours straight.

“Come here,” Ash said, spreading his legs so I could step between them. Fastening his large hands to each side of my waist, he caressed my belly with the pad of his thumbs while his other fingers sank into the fleshy part of my ass. He brought his face to my stomach and rubbed his beard back and forth across before sinking his teeth into my hip deep enough to leave marks.

I yelped and tried to jump back, but he held me immobile. “What was thatfor?”

“I’m trying to calm down,” he growled. “I thought I could handle it, but it’s so fucking hard hearing you sing about him. About the others. I feel an overwhelming need to mark you, to show the world you’remine.”

I ruffled my hand through his hair. He’d left it long and loose the last few days and the soft locks almost hit his chin now. “I amyours.”

He tugged me closer. “Straddle me, baby.” It was a command, but it was needy too—as close as he ever got to begging.

When I threw one leg over him, and sat facing him, Ash ran his hands under my skirt, his palms sweeping the fabric up until I was bared to him. I squirmed, seeking friction against myclit.

“I want to fuck you so bad right now,” he said, his eyes fixed on the apex of my thighs.

I looked down and watched his fingers skate closer and closer over my naked skin until they were near that aching, needy place. My breathing hitched and my heart accelerated with anticipation.

“Look at me,” he whispered on a strangled growl.

When I raised my eyes to his, his pupils were black with lust. Instead of finishing his slow path to my clit, he moved his hands to my ass and kneaded my flesh. Then, he tugged me forward and rocked me back along his bulge. I moaned and closed myeyes.

“Keep ‘em open, Rae.”

With my hips undulating over him, my eyes sprang open, and I chewed my lip as I chased my orgasm.

“Not yet,” he warned, and his fingers slipped deeper into the crevice between my cheeks until one of them swept over that tight, forbidden bud. I gasped, and he swirled around it, teasing me, promising me a glimpse of deeper, darker pleasure. He’d touched me there before, but never with such intense focus, with such burning desire in his gaze. Yes, he wanted to fuck me, but this wicked teasing told the real story. He wanted to fuck my ass, and I was going to lethim.

His hand dipped lower, and his long, middle finger dipped into my slick entrance to gather moisture, before sliding back to my puckered hole. Lost to the pleasure of his touch, I didn’t hear him speak. Grabbing a handful of my hair with his free hand, Ash tugged hard, calling my attention back tohim.

“Did you let him in here?” he asked, his voice resentful. He pressed more insistently against my hole with the pad of his finger, massaged me with gentle yet unrelenting strokes until I felt myself loosen and unfurl. “Did his dick ever fuck your perfectass?”

I didn’t like talking about my relationship with Ford, especially not when I was with someone else—someone I loved infinitely more than I’d ever loved my ex-husband. But I understood why he needed me to answer, too. Ash had spent the morning listening to how that man had nearly destroyed me. He’d sat there helpless as the woman he loved re-lived her worst memories. It couldn’t have been easy to hear any of it. To sit by while I reminisced about another man, even under the auspices of my career, would have been torture for him. As an alpha, he was doing what he needed to regain control—he was claiming me all over again, in a way Ford never had. Touching a part of me no other man hadbeen.

Ash was marking his territory, and I lovedit.

I licked my lips, and panted like a bitch in heat when his finger slipped past my barrier and sank knuckle deep. Holy shit. Instinctively, I pushed back against him and mewled for more. “No,” I breathed through the pinch and the burn. “He never touched me there. No one but you Ash. This is only for you.” I rocked my hips over his straining shaft. The fullness from the small intrusion of his finger was exquisite, the friction of his skin against those untrained nerve endings sending shockwaves up my spine to the base of my skull.

I wanted more. Neededmore.

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