Page 8 of Ashes to Ashes

“If I can’t have Charlotte with me because she’s one too many people to look after, how are you going to have an engineer and a producer to help me record the album I’m supposed to be working on?” I crossed my arms, satisfied that I’d tripped them up. Except they didn’t look tripped up. They lookedsmug.

“You aren’tthe first singer we’ve protected, and your particular needs aren’t unknown to us. It just so happens the man who’ll be protecting you is a musician himself. You’ll find him plenty capable of working a soundboard.”

“Producing an album is more than pushing a few buttons,” I responded belligerently, feeling the noose close tight around my neck. No one could say for certain how long I’d be sequestered with only a guard-slash-musician to keep me company, but I was pretty sure it wasn’t going to be for a day or two. I was a social person who thrived on human interaction. Everything about this sounded miserable.

“And I promise, you’re in excellent hands in terms of both your safety, and your music.” McClintock pressed a button on the Polycom on the middle of the table. “We’re ready for you,” he said into the speaker.

I shot daggers at he and Rocky while Charlotte breathed heavily next to me, her knee bouncing up and down as she tried to contain her fury. To the left, a hidden door slid open and when my new bodyguard stepped through, all the air in my lungs escaped in a whoosh. When my legs collapsed and I fell into my chair, the man stopped in his tracks.

Rocky, oblivious to what he was about to unleash, said, “Rae, thisis—”

“Ash,” I whispered on a strangledmoan.

Had I thought things couldn’t get any worse? This was the pinnacle of disaster. I couldn’t spend god only knew how long with thisman!

McClintock stood, and his eyes bounced between Ash and me. After a few seconds, weary understanding dawned. “I take it you two already know one another?”

Ash slid into the chair next to his boss. “We met once before, briefly.”

His voice stern,McClintock peered at his employee. “Is that going to be a problem? Do I need to find someone else to take thisjob?”

“No,” was all Ashsaid.

“Are you sure aboutthat?”

“Positive,” came his brusque response. “I barely know her. It won’t be a problem.”

I closed my eyes and counted to three and then opened them again. I didn’t know whether to be relieved or insulted at his surety that we could be alone together for days on end without it becoming a problem.

Ash hadn’t been the last man I’d slept with on my race to the bottom, but he’d been the only one who’d affected me on a deeper level, who had made me think about the choices I was making and the way my life was playing out. I couldn’t remember everything that had transpired between us, but when my hands roamed my skin and I touched myself at night, it was his fingers I imagined caressing all my hidden, secret spots. I hadn’t been with anyone since I’d gotten sober, but one look at him and I was tempted. Very, very tempted.

Across the table, our eyes locked and then his dropped to my chest. I glanced down and saw that my nipples were hard little buds under my shirt. When I raised my head, he quickly lookedaway.

“Rae, are you okay?” Rocky asked, his gaze probing. From the tone of his voice and the worried look on his face, I guessed my manager knew exactly where my path had crossed Ash’s.

I was a big girl, and if I couldn’t spend time alone with this man then I wasn’t fit for spending time alone anywhere, with anyone. I was stronger than my past, and I would not let it defineme.

“Yes, it’s fine,” I answered with finality. And then to McClintock, “Yes, to everything you’ve proposed. The quicker I disappear, the better chance you have of finding this person. I’ll do whatever you need meto.”

I rolled my chair back and stood. “If you gentleman will excuse us, I’d like some time alone with Charlotte to figure out how this is going to work. After all, she practically runs mylife.”

The three men stood as one. “By all means,” McClintock responded. “My secretary will be by in a minute to take you both up to the penthouse. Rae. Charlotte.” He nodded and then moved toward thedoor.

Rocky followed, but to my surprise Ash stayed rooted where hewas.

“Ash, you coming?” McClintock asked.

Ash blinked, and something that resembled confusion and anger flashed in his eyes. And then in the next moment, his expression shuttered and he followed themout.

When the door closed, Charlotte came and rested her hands on my shoulders. “That’s him, isn’t it?” she asked, her voice low in case anyone could hearus.

I took a deep breath and let it out. “It is,” I nodded. “I never thought I’d see him again.”

“You don’t have to do this. We’ll make them assign you someoneelse.”

I stepped out from under her palms and shook my head. “I do have to do this. I can’t explain it in a way that makes sense, but if I can’t get through this, I’m not strong enough for any of the rest of it—the touring, the talk shows, the awards ceremonies. I feel like he’s some sort of test I need topass.”

“There’s too much at risk right now. You have too much stress on your shoulders as it is. You don’t need to add to it, Rae.”

“Like I said, I don’t think I can explain it—which is a huge problem since words are my bread and butter—but this is something I have to do. I have to put the past behind me, and I think this will help. If it turns out we can’t be in the same room together, fine; we’ll get me a different guard. But I need to know if I’m strong enough.”

“You’re strong enough for anything,” she answered emphatically.

“Then this should be a piece of cake,” I replied with a smile that I hoped masked my fear. Because the truth was, I didn’t know if I was strong enough to surviveAsh.

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