Page 42 of Silent Desires

Simon is my big brother. He’s ten years older than me, and when our dad left, he promised he’d take care of me. But it was a lie. He liked to trick me with soft, kind words, when really he was just a sexually abusive pervert. When dad left, I was so desperate to believe Simon, wanting someone to take care of me, that I did whatever he told me to. But it didn’t take long for me to realize I didn’t like what his version of caring for me was.

He told me he was doing it to help me, he was similar to my mother in that way, stating they were just doing what was best for me. But I didn’t want either of their help. I just wanted to be left alone. I wipe the silent tears from my cheeks as I wonder how I’m going to survive the night.

Chapter twenty-nine

Normally, I hate stakeouts, sitting around with nothing to do but watch… They’re boring as hell. But this one… This one is so much worse. I think it’s the emotional tie I have, we all have, to it, to her. I’m not sure if I’m more scared of Mina getting hurt or of her being actively involved.

For now, I’m sitting in the car with Max, watching Mina’s home while Jasper and Gideon watch from the woods behind her house. Atlas and Dom will switch places with us soon, to give us a break, but I don’t know if I’d rather sit here watching or be at home trying to sleep, knowing she’s possibly in there with a killer.

I flip my lucky coin over my knuckle before letting it slip between my fingers, before continuing the movement over each knuckle in a rhythmic motion, a quiet way to channel my restless energy.

I can’t get her out of my head. Whenever she’s in gym class, my eyes are constantly finding her, making sure she’s okay and not showing any signs of distress. I want time to get to know her better, outside of the classroom, because if my suspicions are correct, she could not only be the missing piece to the serial killer puzzle, butourmissing piece as well.

We’ve been an almost full team for a few years now. Atlas and Dom found each other first, then slowly added myself, Gideon and Ben tothe team, and we quickly became a family. The five of us were together for two years before we found the twins and eventually told them about our history with women. Something all seven of us agreed on was that family came first. But we quickly learned that dating would become much harder.

The first girl I dated after we formed a team was Cynthia, who I met at a coffee shop where she worked. We hit it off straight away, she was kind, charming, and we liked to joke around together. We dated for two months before I started noticing issues. My brothers apparently saw them earlier on, but didn’t want to ruin my relationship.

She started getting upset with me for leaving on cases. Not all our cases were like this one, months in length. Most were just a few days to a few weeks. But even if I left town for a couple of days, she’d get angry, telling me I was choosing some job over her. By the time I got her to forgive me, I’d have to leave again. In the end, she pleaded with me to quit the team, and it made me realize that she didn’t understand me at all. I couldn’t believe she’d ask me to leave my family. It was an obvious choice, and I’d choose the guys every time.

The next time one of us dated, it was Ben, his girlfriend’s name was Clara or Sara or something like that. She was quiet, shy, a real bookworm. We thought she was too sweet to have the same jealousy issues as Cynthia. But she started getting upset when he spent time with us, saying we worked together and he didn’t need to spend his free time with us, too. He dumped her real quick after that argument.

Gideon had a serious girlfriend for about three months. I actually thought they might make it. Dom and Atlas didn’t really have girlfriends, but occasionally Dom would see the same girl for a week or two. One of those girls caused Gideon’s girlfriend to get jealous, saying shedidn’t want another woman in his house unless she was there too—basically demanding to move in. Luckily, Gideon wasn’t as smitten as we thought because he told her it wasn’t happening, and that was that.

After that, I pitched my idea for the pact, and they agreed. When the twins joined us, any girls they brought home either got clingy or started eye-fucking some of the other men in the house. When I found out they had shared a girl between them a few times, we decided to tell them about the pact. I smile as I remember that conversation.

“So we’d all date the same girl?” Max asks curiously. I nod.

“Wouldn’t we all get jealous… Seeing each other with her?” he asks.

“Do you get jealous when you share a girl with your brother?” I counter. He shakes his head as his brow furrows in thought.

“Fuck no. It’s hot to watch him get her off.”

“Exactly. And the benefits would be huge. We have a dangerous job, and protecting seven women would be a challenge. Plus, we often move around for cases. Do you see us dragging seven women around, dropping their careers to follow us? And it would be impossible to find places in all these towns that could sleep fourteen people comfortably.”

Gideon continues for me. “There will always be at least one of us to take care of her. We never need all seven of us in the field at once, so someone will always be able to watch over her.”

“I don’t want to be single forever,” Ben adds. “I want a woman I can love and take care of, but I don’t want to lose you guys. If we don’t do this, we will get married, eventually leave the team, drift apart and even settle in different cities. I don’t know about you two, but I refuse to lose this family, it’s the only one I have.”

The twins look at each other, then turn to us,grinning. “We’re in.”

Max’s voice brings me back to the present as he asks, “Atlas and Dom will be here in two minutes. I guess we get to go home and sleep?”

“Yeah. I doubt I’ll sleep much, but we can try, right?” Max nods and looks at his watch for the millionth time in four hours.

“You’re worried about her,” I tell him. It’s not a question.

“She hasn’t texted since this morning, and we’ve seen no sign of her.”

I’m very aware of the lack of contact with Mina. She’s been radio silent all day. Unless she slipped out before we arrived, she’s in there somewhere, not texting us for some reason.What is she doing in there? Is she safe?

A flash of lights in the rearview mirror catches my attention. “That’ll be Dom and Atlas now.”

A car pulls up silently behind us and switches off the engine and lights. Max’s phone rings, and he puts it on speaker. “Dom,” he greets.

“I’ve got the other team on the call, too. Anything to report?”

“We’ve seen Helen step out back to dump an ashtray on the lawn, then she went straight back inside,” Jasper gives us his report.

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