Page 38 of Deadly Maiden

We launch again, and this time, we spear high into the darkening sky. My hood unpeels from my head, and my hair streams backward. Already, the forest is shrinking and the trees become a blur. We are aiming for the hills.

At a lurch, I clutch at his tendrils. Alarmed, I yelp and lean over to make myself a smaller target for the cold, blustering wind that whistles and roars across my ears.

“I’m going to freeze if this keeps up for long!” I yell at him, praying he can hear me. “Except for my ass—that part is hot.”

He laughs that low dragon laugh, “Hur-hur-hur.You will survive. It’s ten minutes to where I intend to land. And your ass is indeed hot.”

Oh.I stare at his ears. Blush alert. The third blush in an hour? “You didnotmean to say that.”

He remains silent as we breach a bank of whiteness that blinds us at first, then peels away in shreds. We level off to cruise above a fluffy laneway of clouds that look solid enough to scoop up and eat. His wings flap in a slow metronome of amazingness.

The sun is up here, having politely risen with us.

I’m smiling. I’m smiling the widest, biggest smile of my life, and I release my hold on the tendrils and hold my arms out to either side. The air streams by, flapping at my sleeves, buffeting my clothes and hair.

Breathing in and out, with the frigid atmosphere chilling my teeth and my nose, I try to grapple with where we are and how and why and…all of the emotions that are rushing in. I’m thousands of feet above the world and we are the only ones up here.

Well now.This is freedom.

I close my eyes to bask in this wondrous state.Nothingwill ever surpass this.

Then he banks and I slip to the left. I shriek and grab onto whatever I can to stay in place. “You bastard! You meant that.”

“I would never.” His smug tone betrays a lie.

I narrow my eyes. Spluttering, I pull some hair from my mouth, where it flew upon that sudden maneuver. Revenge can wait until he is a smaller size.

Though, when in man-shape Rorsyd is still far too large.

Once more, my mind wanders straight into filthy territory and below gets distinctly warmer. I twist in place and sigh. Why am I like this?

“Is there a river at this place we are going to?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” I need to bathe and, if possible, seek some private time, with my hand between my legs.

Or not. I can withstand this need for a while longer.

Am I strange to be thinking about sex?

We’ve just partaken of murder, though truly it was self-defense and a ‘murder them or they will murder us’ situation. I think that through.

Is this a pivotal moment, because I know I need to sort this out in my own head. I either reconcile myself with this, or I sulk and cower, and be afraid of the murdering, the violence around me. Shrinking from this will surely lead to my earlier demise.

I nod to myself, squint at the horizon. The sun is higher than it was, which must be due to our elevation. We have changed the position of the sun by flying. Quite the achievement.

Likewise, I can change my attitude. I refuse to wallow in sorrow. Be happy even in the midst of murder? How many more times must I tell myself this? Lots. Lots and lots. This is not easy, and if it were, I would be a bad person.

Killing someone is not hopscotch or a game of cards, but I must overcome my revulsion. If I need to, I will do whatever is necessary,andI will cling to my morals and what Landos taught me.

I lean forward so my voice will carry to Rorsyd’s dragon ears.

“Was that a test, back there when you asked if I wanted you to simply kill them all? Were you ranking me on some Scale of Evil?”

“Perhaps.”

“I need a better answer.”

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