Page 98 of Deadly Maiden

Once more that swagger and that dragonshifter bravado is written in his stance. “I can shift.”

“Fuck me,” I whisper. I did it again. I healed him.

His eyebrows waggle. “Promise this, I will.” Then his expression flattens into mere curiosity. “What does your Anathema do when you leave it?”

“Oh, Anathema never leaves me. He’s been with us all the time, since I left Bollingham.”

“Really? Even when we…”

I snicker at him. “Sorry to break that news.”

As a diversion, I tear open the envelope from Saphora. I don’t expect anything astounding.

“She says I can come and stay with her, but that she is not someone who can teach me the skills of necromancy. She has other skills that she can teach? Vague. My parents were friends, but they taught themselves, by way of trial and error.” I let my hand drop. “Not helpful.”

I was thinking about going, though with Andacc saying they’re on the verge of launching a rebellion, what use would it have been? What use am I, full stop? How do I teach myself?

By doing things, same as I have been with Anathema, the bloodhawk, and maybe with Rorsyd? It’s all I have, for now. There is Slaedorth, but my own parents warned me away from it.

And they beckoned me. What else are the raven and also Kyvin except reminders about Slaedorth?

As we return to the library’s rear entrance, past clumps of people eating their breakfast and chatting about everyday non-life-threatening things, Thander’s words return to me.

“Do you remember that day in Thander’s room when he introduced us to each other, and made sure you’d take care of me?”

“Yes, I do. The golem master is a wise stoneborn.”

“What he said struck me as important. He said that he felt you are what I will need to succeed on what will be a very long and difficult journey that will test my resolve and my morals, in every way. I memorized it because it sounded like he was predicting my future. What if we are a part of some prophecy?” I look about and lower my voice. “What if we are meant to be a part of this war to take down the Aos Sin and the king?”

He doesn’t answer and only nods a few times while he keeps walking.

“Are you going to tell me that prophecies are for children?”

“No, I won’t, but they are generally dangerous for those in the middle of them. I don’t want you there. I don’t want to see you dead and dismembered.”

I swear I can hear his teeth grinding.

Chapter 31

Rorsyd

I climb into bed with Wyntre, and it’s as if it’s the first time, which illustrates how bizarre these past weeks have been. My survival in this relationship is balanced on the direction of a wind I cannot see. My shifting ability is unreliable.

For twenty years I had nothing.

Since I’ve been with her, it’s returned to me, fleeting, erratic.

A love for life returned to me then I threw it away.

I can’t know if I will have this in a day, a week, a month, but I am weak when I lose it. I let myself succumb to the lure of the drink and drowned myself.

Ineedto solve this. I have to or I will lose her.

“The bed is so small,” she grumbles sleepily as I crawl up from the foot of the bed then wriggle between her and the wall then pull her into me, spooning.

I kiss her bare back. She’s wearing only underwear, as am I.

This afternoon, I went looking for a place I could shift as well as to give the horses exercise. We rode Snake-eyes and Blossom out the south gate. Wyntre is tired, unused to riding.

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