Page 113 of Spring Awakening

Mali: I muted the Queen for you

Bro of my life: i knew you loved me more than Bey!

Mali laughs, but she stops the moment his voice comes through the microphone. She doesn’t want to miss a moment.

“It’s been six hours since Frankie went home,” Zach says in the recording. He’s whispering. “You’re asleep right now. Well, I think you are. I want to check, but what if you’re awake and then I have to figure out how to leave? Unlikely, baby. I love you. That’s all. Goodnight.”

She presses play on the next one.

“I was talking to Teddy, and I told him that when I talk to myself, like in my mind, I use ‘literally’ every other sentence. I say ‘like’ like it’s going outta fashion, Mal. I say ‘innit’ in your posh voice. I miss you, and it’s been hours since I last saw you, and I can’t see how I can unfuck this, but I need to try. How mad will you be if I break my leg? I love you. I’m sorry.”

“You’re in the kitchen, and I miss you.”

“Do you think penguins are cute?”

“The shops are so busy. God, remember when you had the hots for me in ASDA?”

“I googled romantic movie scenes because you deserve one, and why do they all expect me to own a boombox? Baby, where am I going to get a boombox? I bet your dad has one. I don’t want the big romantic gesture to be because I’m sorry that I have to leave. I want it to be because it’s a Thursday and you smiled at me, and I can’t think of a single place I’d rather be... I’m gonna text your dad.”

Mali doesn’t cry, because she’s just done her eyeliner and Zach is right here. The sadness in his voice doesn’t mean anything bad anymore. All it means is that he loves her, and he didn’t want to leave. They got their wish, and the new contract is stuck to the fridge with a love-heart magnet Zach bought her from the tourist shop down by the beach.

Still, she listens to the rest. He tells her what he’s cooking. He tells her his thoughts as he drives around completing errands for his mum. He repeats Shakespeare quotes that she barelyunderstands, but she listens because he’s been trying this whole time.

Mali pulls on her cheerleading outfit, and the voice note clicks off again. She goes to press play, but it’s the last one. Maybe it’s a butt-dial this time, but then the sound of him moving comes out of her speaker. She wonders what he was doing. Was he in her room? Or trying to fall asleep? Maybe she’ll get lucky and he’ll tell her.

“Hey,” he whispers. “I miss you. I’m thinking about you, and how selfish it would be to ask you to be with me even though I have to move. Do you think you’d call me? I want you to call me. I want to call you too. I thought maybe I shouldn’t, but I don’t wanna go another second with you thinking there’s anything I want in life other than you. And yeah, I get that it’s my fault, and I’m sorry. I will be, forever and a day, if that’s even a thing. If we never see each other again—which makes me want to crawl into a hole, so please, let’s not do that—anyway, what was I saying? Mal, baby, stop distracting me. Oh yeah, if we never see each other again, I will be hopelessly, uselessly yours, forever. I do fear my words ain’t Shakespeare, honey, but I hope you know I love you completely. From the dawn of the dinosaurs and until the end of the Earth, I am yours. You can do what you like with me; I’m here for you. I hope you’ll call. Bye, baby. I love you.”

Mali’s almost at the office, and she can see the players on the pitch. There’s bunting across the entire width of the field, andMali wonders how mad Ezra is that he had to put it all up. She decides to walk over the grass today. The stalls are out already, and the players are all here early. There’s already a small queue of people in the carpark, so she thinks today will be a success. She hopes so anyway.

She spots Zach stretching, and she wants to leave him a voice note, so she pulls out her phone and starts recording.

“This isn’t quite a call, but it counts. I can see you. You look so hot in your uniform,” she says, smiling when he spots her. His eyes go wide, and she wonders if he’s a stereotypical guy that likes cheerleading uniforms. She’s going to ask, and then she’s going to get whatever he likes.

“I listened to all your voice notes, and I think you’ve spoiled me forever. I never thought I’d get a guy as cute as you, that has such good thighs and a magical—wait, don’t listen to this with anyone. Never mind, I’m not saying it out loud anyway. But you’re really hot. Remember when you could only talk to me in weather terms? Well, it’s sunny this weekend. Wanna have a barbeque? You’re looking right at me. Your brow is all furrowed. You’re so cute. I love you so much. Bye.”

“Hey,” she says, walking up to him. He hugs her, kissing her once.

“Hi,” he replies, looking her over. “You look hot as fuck.”

She spins. “Thanks.”

Zach’s eyes are still wide when she stops spinning. “Who were you talking to?”

Mali shrugs, letting her fingers linger against his stomach. “You’ll never know. Is Cam here?”

Zach laughs. “’Ight. Er, I haven’t seen Cam, but Sweet Tooth stuff is here. And our parents are going to be here soon, but Frankie has us waiting out here.”

“Dammit,” she mumbles. Zach holds her hands.

“You don’t think she’s coming?”

“I dunno. I have a backup plan.”

“What is it?”

“I’ll wear Ezra’s name. Daraki can’t move his hips that well,” she says, and Zach laughs, then frowns. Mali drops his hands, moving away.

“Mal,” he says quickly. “Baby, if you’re wearing his name, who’s wearing mine?”

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