Page 94 of Spring Awakening

“Your agents are sociopaths, and they’re not going to give you up. Please.Pleasedon’t get hurt. It’s already killing me to have to let you leave,” she whispers, opening her eyes. “I won’t survive if you have to go hurt. Please. I know it sucks. I know, but please. Don’t hurt yourself.”

His face falls, and she presses the gauze to his nose. It’s not a bad bleed, but he lets her comfort him all the same. He closes his eyes, tilting his cheek against her jaw. No matter how shit his life might turn out to be, Mali cares about him. At some point when he’s alone and morose in his one-bedroom flat, he’ll remember that she cared about him.

“I won’t,” he whispers. “I’m sorry.”

Mali kisses him on the forehead, seemingly not caring about the sweat or the mud. She wipes the blood from his face.

“You wanna go back on?”

Zach smiles. He does. He loves playing rugby. He takes a deep breath, kisses her on the cheek, and runs back onto the pitch.

It’s not a difficult match. Halfway through, he finds himself enjoying it. The ease of a game when the entire team is in sync. When he can trust the people around him with his life. When the whistle blows for halftime, Ezra drags him to the sideline. Kai’s already there with a frown on his face. Zach wonders what he’s done wrong. He scored two tries and converted them with penalties. Why is he getting daggers?

“Why haven’t you asked her to go with you?” Kai asks, the moment Zach stops walking. “You do know half the team wanna ask her out, right? Like, they’ll probably not even wait for your car to be gone.”

Zach frowns. Rude. He knows Kai used to flirt with her, but Kai flirts with everyone. “Every cell in my body is trying to ask her to come, but she’s happy here.”

“That doesn’t mean she wouldn’t be happy in Scotland,” Ezra replies. Zach wonders if he ever thought about asking his familyto move with him. If he knows how torn Zach is right now. “Even if she stays, why can’t you be together?”

“I have to leave, and she hates long distance”

Ezra looks conflicted, which means he looks slightly different to usual. “Would you wanna be with her if she wanted that back?”

Zach frowns. “Yeah.”

“So, stop placing all your happiness on one throwaway comment with her parents. Mal is great. Top-tier human. And Kai is right—the locker-room talk about her when you’re not around.” Zach’s gonna punch someone on the field, friends or not. “Tell her you’re an option. Show her you’ll work for it. Don’t let her go because you’re a pussy.”

Zach wonders if Ezra is talking from memory. If he left someone behind when he went to the premiership. He wonders if he were here long enough, if Ezra would ever tell him.

“I’ll leave, and I’ll visit a few times, and then one day, I’ll come down and someone will be here with her. Mali’s too good to not be happy. Kai said himself, the moment I’m gone, someone’s asking her out.”

“What are you on about?” Ezra says, with a frown. “Are you dumb?”

“Rude,” Zach replies. He blinks the sweat out of his eyes, wondering if they have to have this conversation right now.

“Dude. Look at her,” he says, as if Zach isn’t already looking at her. Mali stands in the stands, her hands behind her back as she chews on her lip. She’s wearing a top with his name on, and she stole his cap this morning. She has it on backwards, and he wishes he had a camera. Occasionally, she laughs at something Mosi is saying next to her, though Zach’s not convinced she’s listening. She’s looking around the field for someone. Then, her eyes fall on him, and she smiles so brightly he loses his breath.She waves, and then takes a photo before he can wave back. She’s such a stalker.

“She’s always looking for you,” Ezra replies. “Don’t be a dick. Tell her you want her. Show her you’re serious.”

“I don’t know how.”

“You seen Teddy yet?” Ezra asks. And yes, Zach has seen Theodore, the team therapist, exactly one time. It wasn’t awful, but now he won’t be here anyway.

“I’m leaving.”

“Dude,” Kai starts. “Do you love her?”

“Yes.”

“Then speak to Theo and get your head out of your arse. Man, I can’t believe you got a girl like Mal to be into you when you grunt every three words and you’re not even as good as me at scrums,” Kai groans, and Zach punches him in the arm.

“We’ve talked about what you want to get from therapy,” Teddy says, his legs crossed as he leans back in his chair. It’s a relaxing pose, but Zach never thinks he’s relaxed. He’s always poised, ready to take a note. “So, now can we discuss why you’re here?”

Zach shuffles. “’Ight.”

Theodore looks at him expectantly. Prick. He’s kinda nice, though. Zach rolls his neck.

“I wanna say something profound, but really, I just wanna figure out how not to hurt people.”

---