Page 99 of Spring Awakening

“Fibber.”

“You’re my best friend, bro,” she says, her entire face twisting as the word comes out. Zach looks at her lips, but she doesn’t think it’s on purpose. He’s not taunting her; he’s not begging her to make a move. He’s just looking at her. He blinks, swallowing as he looks away. There’s a light blush on his cheeks.

“I miss you.”

“I’m right here,” Mali replies. “I’m always going to be right here.” He smiles, and she lets her knee rest against his thigh.

“I regret this week,” he says. Mali rubs her fingers against his jaw. He has stubble now. She wishes she was in a better space so she could give it the attention it deserves. “I should have spent every second with you. I dunno why I ever thought it would make it easier.”

“Zach,” she whispers. She didn’t need to call him; he was already looking at her. “I miss you as well.”

“Don’t tell me that,” he mutters, pressing his lips against her palm. “Tell me you can’t wait for me to leave.” Mali laughs,the tears falling from her eyes quicker than she can realise it’s happening. Zach wipes her cheek with his thumb.

“Distract me,” she says. “How was training?”

“Okay,” he replies, his voice as low as hers. “I think the team’s real solid.”

“Yeah,” she replies, and she rests her head against his shoulder. “They can showcase it at the Titanian Fun Day.”

“Are you going?” Zach asks, and she knows he leaves before it’s on. She’s already packing a bag, but she doesn’t think he is. “I thought you said Ezra and I were too annoying and you were bailing.”

Mali laughs. “You are so annoying.” She looks up at him because she thinks he might be smiling, and she smiles back when she sees she’s right. “I’ll be there. I need to decide what top to wear, and who else is going to send you all the photos?”

Zach hums, shuffling until his arm is around her shoulder. “What are your options?”

“I have an orange one or a green one.” She links her fingers with his, looking at the movement of the river. This water probably came from Scotland. If she thought about it, she could figure it out. There’s a chance it’ll end up there at some point. She wishes she were philosophical enough to figure out something to tell Zach. Something about it linking them together.

“If you wear the green one, you can match your wig.”

Her fingers trail across his stomach, up his chest. “God, you’re so right.” He laughs, pressing his lips to her fingers when they roam his face.

“The green one is Groundhogs. That would look cute with the hair, wouldn’t it?”

Zach looks down at her with a frown. “My old team?”

“Yeah. I told you I have a top from every team.”

“With my name?”

She hums again, her hand lightly against his throat. “I’ll always wear your name. I’ll even get a Dougals one, even though blue is not my colour.”

“You’re supposed to be telling me you hate me,” he whispers. He might be moving closer. “But I know it’s not true.”

“It’s not,” she replies.

Zach hums. “You know, I missed you so much this week that I recorded like a million voice notes pretending I was talking to you, like an absolute loser.”

Mali gasps, moving back a touch. “I need them immediately.”

He laughs, pressing his lips to her forehead. He looks at her for a moment, and she wonders if he knows what she’s thinking. Maybe he knows how terrifying it is to tell someone how you feel when they might turn you down. All she knows is that it’ll be worse not to try. Mali can heal from a broken heart, but she won’t get over him being a what-if.

“I love you,” she says. Simple. Open. Truthful. “You don’t have to say it back, I just have to say it to you while you’re here.” Her heart skips a beat as his jaw drops. She’s going to love him forever, and she’s not scared to admit it. “I just want you to know that I love you. Completely. I want to love you for the rest of my life.” Mali blinks as Zach links their fingers together.

“I love you,” he replies. He takes a deep breath, like he’s physically taking a weight of his shoulders. “Fuck, I wanted to tell you first.”

Mali smiles. “It’s not a competition.”

Zach laughs. “I’d win.”

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