Page 221 of Back in the Saddle

I dispensed with any pleasantries, as they’d be lost on him anyway, and asked, “Do you know a dealer named Lil Clown?”

“Where’s my titty mags?” he asked back.

That was when it became clear I probably shouldn’t be leading this.

This was because I launched myself over the counter at him, and with my hips balanced on it, my legs in the air, I caught him by the neck of his tee and dragged his face to mine while the girls all tried to pull me away.

“I asked…do you…knowa dealer…namedLil Clown?”

“Je-Nat, come back,” Harlow pleaded.

I shook him by his collar. “Do you?”

“Get off me,” he demanded, testing the limits of his tee by pulling back on my hold even as he wrapped his fingers around my wrist to try to yank it free.

“Answer me!” I shrieked.

“I don’t fuck with that shit, woman,” he said. “I get mine legal by going to the dispensary. Now back the fuck off.”

The girls managed to pull me away and Luna took my place—not accosting him, talking to him.

“As you can see, this is important to her,” she began.

He jerked at his not-too-clean and now misshapen T-shirt. “Yeah, I can see that.”

“So, I swear on all I find holy, those things being books, interior décor and really good vodka, that I’ll bring you ten mags of your choiceandten movies if you have any information on this Lil Clown asshole or his crew,” Luna bargained.

“I deal in hookers and rooms,” he returned. “I see deals go down. I don’t pay attention. They don’t like people paying attention. It’s just whores and beds by the hour and the occasional moron who wanders in thinking he’s gonna get a deal while the spring training is on.”

“Fuck,” I bit off, turned on my Van and prowled out of motel reception.

The girls followed me.

When we got to the tail of the Sportage, Harlow sidled in close.

“I think you need to try some breathing exercises,” she suggested.

“I think we need to get our asses to the diner,” I retorted.

“I think we need to source a lot more informants,” Raye muttered to Luna.

“I think you’re right,” Luna agreed.

“Can we go?” I asked impatiently.

Raye got in my space, which I didn’t appreciate at that juncture, but I did nothing about it because she was speaking. “I love you. Heart and soul. I get it. It guts me that he’s with them instead of in the world where he feels safe. But, babe, Harlow’s right. You need to chill the fuck out.”

This was true.

I needed to chill out.

I drew in an unsteady breath.

“Another one, please,” Harlow requested.

I drew in another one. It wasn’t any steadier, but I did it.

“We’re gonna find him, or the men are gonna find him, Jess,” Luna said. “Trust the process.”

---