Page 66 of Back in the Saddle

“I have to be giving off a vibe he can read,” I asserted.

“Jess, again, love you, you know it, but you’ve got resting ‘fuck off’ vibes,” Luna replied. “Eric’s got it going on. But I’m still surprised he had the balls to make a play in the first place.”

“You kinda do. With the ef off vibes,” Harlow said cautiously. “It’s only when you let people in where you realize how amazing you are.” She continued hurriedly, “I get it. With your folks. Guarding your heart and being careful who you let in. But I never got it before, you know, until yesterday when you gave us the full skinny about them. You’d always just told me your relationship with them was difficult. You never gave me the full story.”

Now she looked hurt.

Because I’d hurt her.

And she was right to be hurt.

They all were.

Crap, I’d built walls around myself, even with my besties, when there was absolutely zero reason to keep them out.

Damn.

“I’m sorry, Lolo,” I muttered. “It’s hard to talk about it. And it’s hard to explain. It wasn’t like they were abusive or anything. They just didn’t care.”

“That’s abusive, Jess,” Harlow countered.

“Others have it a lot worse,” I replied.

“I’m not best friends with others,” she shot back. “I’m best friends with you. And how you grew up stinks. And I don’t like it. But I get you now more than I ever did.” She smiled, it was a bit trembly, but she did it. “I just thought you were a kickass bee-yotch. And I’d always wanted to be friends with a kickass bee-yotch, and you’re the most kickass bee-yotch there is.”

Did people say “bee-yotch” anymore?

I didn’t ask that.

It went against the grain, but I knew it would mean something to her, and she meant everything to me, so I twisted in my seat, pulled her into my arms and hugged her.

“We are witnessing growth right this very instant, folks, and I’m here for it,” Raye joked.

I let Harlow go and shot a look at Raye, at the same time I pulled out my phone and dared, “Wanna see growth?”

“Hit us with it,” Luna invited.

I pulled up my contacts, found Eric, and disregarded my finger was shaky when I hit go on his number.

I put my phone to my ear.

It rang once (once!), and he greeted, “Hey, Jess. You good?”

“Hey. Yeah. I’m fine. Out for brunch with the girls, but I wanted to say thanks for coming over last night.”

“Not a problem.”

“It, uh…meant a lot.”

“Really not a problem, babe. Happy to do it.”

Shit.

Shit.

Fuck.

“I also wanted to know if you have plans for tonight?” I asked.

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