Page 68 of Back in the Saddle

We would have to see.

I still nodded.

“What’s No-Fucks-to-Giving?” Harlow asked.

Maybe it was what I’d just done, and all it’d taken me to do it. Maybe it was all the emotion about Jeff and my parents surfacing. Maybe it was the fact I’d learned that I hadn’t been as good of a friend as I should be to the best friends you could have.

But when Harlow asked that, I busted out laughing.

Harlow was smiling tentatively when I was done, and I told her, “It’s what people with shit families call Thanksgiving.”

“Do you get turkey?” she asked.

I nodded. “And stuffing, and all the other good stuff that makes you need to unbutton your pants when you’re done shoving food in your face.”

“Oh my God, did you unbutton your pants in front of Eric?” Raye asked.

“He said it was a compliment to the chef.”

“Andagain, love you, you know it, but you really, really,reallyhave had your head up your ass about this guy,” Luna remarked.

I couldn’t get pissed at her.

Because I had.

And I had a date with him that night.

So I was no longer in any mood to be pissed.

I was in the mood to hit up my brothers’ friends, hopefully find out something that would settle my mind, then go home and be more of a girl by picking out the perfect outfit, doing the perfect makeup, going and buying the perfect bottle of wine.

And having an at-his-house-for-pizza-and-a-movie date with a hot guy.

* * *

“I’m just gonna say,you know, you might have Eric, after tonight, if things keep going good,” Harlow started as we drove from Jeff’s bud number three, David, to Jeff’s bud number four, the last bud on my list, Joshua.

Newsflash: so far, none of them had heard from my brother.

“But if you find yourself in the zone again, you know, the bad one you mentioned at brunch, and you want company, you can call me,” Harlow finished.

“Me too. I’m just a couple of doors down,” Raye said. “I could be there in a jiffy.”

“Me three, I’m just across the courtyard,” Luna put in.

I would feel like a real asshole at how I’d kept these guys out if it didn’t feel so great having them in.

“Thanks, bitches,” I muttered as I pulled up in front of Joshua’s house.

I’d saved the best for last.

Joshua was Jeff’s longest-standing friend, and his closest one. If memory served, they’d been that to each other since they were twelve. Jeff was Joshua’s best man. Joshua’s wife, Katelyn, was super cool. She loved Jeff almost as much as Joshua did.

Most wives of husbands with friends who had troubles like Jeff wouldn’t be down to let him crash in their guest room for however long he needed.

But Katelyn was a nurse. Jeff did his best when he was with them because she helped him stay on top of his meds, she was careful about avoiding triggers, she also educated Joshua on that, and she busted her hump to make him feel welcome.

Even though Jeff resolutely stayed employed, no matter what shit jobs he had to take, and he insisted on paying rent, eventually, Jeff always decided he’d worn out his welcome, and I got that. I’d feel the same, obviously, since I very recently realized I hadn’t even allowed myself to unload the weight of my family issues on my chicks.

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