Page 96 of Back in the Saddle

“Kat, you’re a nurse. Having decent people around him doesn’t cure his psychosis. If it did, he’d have been cured long ago.”

“Jess, please know, I hear you. I understand you. And again, I beg you, don’t take this the wrong way. But helicoptering your adult younger brother doesn’t help manage it either.”

Yes, I one hundred percent checked in with my brother frequently.

Yes, I often pleaded with him to move in with me so I’d know he was safe, but more, he’d feel that.

Yes, when he had an episode, I stopped at nothing to find him under one of his two favorite overpasses or camped by the dumpster behind that Mexican restaurant where the owner had a soft heart and gave him stuff other people didn’t eat at closing time.

And clearly, Jeff thought I was over-mothering him.

So Jeff bitched to Joshua.

Joshua shared with Katelyn.

And now this.

“Right,” I said shortly. “Thanks for letting me know I don’t have to worry anymore. Time to plan my vacation to Euro Disney. I’ll be in touch.”

“Jess, don’t be like that.”

“Your brother was a running back for the Sun Devils and is finishing his residency,” I retorted. “My brother has a new family I haven’t met, a new phone number I don’t have, and he’s in contact with his bud, but he hasn’t bothered to get in touch with me to tell me everything is hunky-dory. Don’t tell me how to be.”

She gave me healthcare-professional speak. “I hear you and understand your issues.”

I knew she did.

I knew I was being a bitch.

But my brother was tight with some dude called Mountain and was a Shadow Soldier, maybe undercover with some bad guys, and stress was a trigger.

What happened when shit went south, and he started hearing voices?

What then?

Fuck!

“I’m sorry. I’m being a bitch,” I said on a sigh. “But I do want to talk to him.”

“I’ll push Joshua.”

“Great.”

“Try not to worry, Jess,” she urged.

“I will,” I lied, and it wasn’t a lie because I wouldn’t try. It was a lie because I knew it’d be impossible, so why try? “Take care.”

“I will.”

I hung up.

Eric (with Jacques still in his hold) immediately crouched in front of me.

“You gonna give us this?” he asked.

He meant, was I going to let the NI&S team find my brother?

Abso-fucking-lutely.

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