Page 101 of Unloved

Desperately so.

But my friendship with Matt is too important to me, so I swallow back the dry mouth that accompanies my desperate want for him.

“I love being your friend, Matt,” I say, because it’s true. But also because I can’t think of anything else besides,Yes, please kiss me,or,Maybe being just friends is overrated.

He’s smiling so I smile back.

Easy as breathing.

“This is way harder than a test.” He groans a little, rocking his head into my stomach.

“What is?”

“Not touching you,” he whispers before gently extracting himself from my arms, swaying slowly into the shower, and fiddling clumsily with the knobs. “I need it cold before I do something you’ll regret.”

CHAPTER 37Ro

Leaving him in the shower alone feels akin to leaving a mopey puppy alone.

But I need a breather, and so does he. We can’t keep pushing the boundaries of our friendship like this. It’s too valuable to me.

Instead, I pace back and forth across his organized mess of a room. Should I disappear before he’s back to save us both?

The bathroom door opens with the shower still on in the background, steam billowing out behind him.

Freddy, with a towel slung around his waist sloppily, held together by a fist at his side, like he couldn’t be bothered to really cover himself. Every step he takes flashes his thigh all the way up to his hip joint, water droplets tracing the butterfly tattoo across his pinkened skin.

I have the sudden urge to google “Can humans swallow their tongues?” to assure myself I’m not in need of a hospital.

As much as I adore Freddy, have tried to make every thought about him as “friend-zone” as possible, his beauty is hard to ignore. He’s so handsome—the sharp cut of his jaw, his thick, pursed lips that I know taste like candy. His blond hair is darker now, still wet as it drips over his powerful shoulders and down the plane of his muscular abdomen.

“Ro?” he says. Like he’s been trying to get my attention while I’ve been ogling him.

“Yeah?” My cheeks heat in mild embarrassment.

“You can shower.” He steps aside, again flashing his thigh indecently. “I laid a towel out for you. And I’ll grab you some clothes to wear—if you want.”

Say no. Say, “Thank you, Matt, but I should call a car and go home tonight.”

Instead, I nod and head right in, washing off the night under the steamy warm spray. I search the surprisingly large bin of different products his bathroom boasts, finding a few travel-sized face washes and moisturizers, and excellent hair care products, all in mismatched bins and drawers.

I shouldn’t be so surprised at the selection. The boy is gorgeous, clearly well kept in terms of his appearance and hygiene.

Taking my time—not to avoid him, I swear to myself—I emerge with reddened skin, grabbing the clothes he’s left at the threshold before closing the door all the way. There’s a pair of short athletic shorts with a drawstring I’m able to tie up on my waistline, and a shirt that hangs just an inch past the shorts—which only adds to the illusion that I’m not wearing pants, thanks to the extreme length of my legs.

For some reason, I thought he might be fully clothed by the time I came back out. Instead, he’s lying across his unmade bed in tight gray boxer briefs that leave basically nothing to the imagination. I dart my eyes to the ceiling, which somehow feels worse, so I shift and stare down at my feet.

“I, um—” I clear my throat, neck hot even though my curls are still piled high on my head.

“Can you…” he says before lifting himself on his elbows. His abs flex and relax with the motion, like some sexed-up underwear model. But his face is still very much “kicked puppy,” brows furrowed and eyes sad. I hate it.

I walk a little closer, drawn in by his magnetism.

“Will you sleep here?” he asks, hand reaching out for mine. I take his, letting our fingers play along each other’s. “Just, stay.”

“Okay.”

I flip off the light. Something plays on the TV, muted but colorful enough to cast a glow over us—the same two guys eating ridiculous food at a desk, a comfort show he often turns on. It’s calm and relaxing, welcoming in a strange way.

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