Page 113 of Unloved

“Your little peewee coach needs some backbone if he sent you here to deal with me.”

Having only heard his voice through a phone for three years now, the sound of it in person is crippling enough that my knees go weak, and I have to grab the wall for support.

We don’t look alike—something that used to bother me as a kid. I wanted to be his twin once upon a time, before his poison infected everything around me, until the decay ate all the good in my life.

His skin is tan and damaged, like he’s been drinking on a beach in Miami for the last three years—and maybe he has. His hair is amix of gray and blond, brighter than mine in a way that immediately negates the serious persona he’s trying to create with the cheap, ill-fitting suit. I’m taller, a fact Iknowbothers him even now, especially as I nearly tower over him with the extra inches my skates and my pads give me.

Flat brown eyes slowly take me in from across the room, so opposite the bright green of my own. Does he seeherwhen he looks at me? Does it cause him pain? I hope it does.

And yet I don’t want him to think of her. He doesn’t even deserve the memory of her.

“What are you doing here?”

“Here to see my son skate. Check on his progress. I’m the one paying for this stupid school, right?” He raises his hands out to the sides and smiles—our one similarity. The fucking Fredderic grin and smile lines:the lady killers; the Dallas playboy and his up-and-coming replacement.

Iwantedto be just like him once. It makes me nearly sick to think about it now, about how much time I wasted on him when I could have been by her side.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

“Funny,” I deadpan. “I’m on scholarship.”You couldn’t pay for this preppy ass school if you wanted to, old man.

I sit and start to undo my laces. I want him gone before a single skate leaves the ice.

One of the papers called him “Dallas’s Biggest Regret” in giant bold letters after his second contract renewal. I remember because Archer laid the paper right next to my breakfast and winked at me before slipping to the corner of the kitchen to inconspicuously sip his coffee when my mom came in.

She laughed louder than I’d heard in a while before kissing the top of my head and ruffling my too-long hair, reading it aloud before I even had to ask her what it said.

I’m sure John Fredderic was thebiggest regretof a lot of people, but none more than my mother and me.

“I’m bringing some coaches for other teams in to watch you practice. I want you to set up some of your fancier shit, speed it up, show off—”

“Coach runs closed practices.”

He ignores me entirely. “And I spoke with your adviser and teachers about the math drop—”

“What?” I freeze then, disbelief running through me.

“That pretty Mrs. Tinley thinks it’s a bad idea. That you’re taking an easy out. Your adviser seemed to blame some girl—”

“You’re not allowed to know my business with the school. That’s the rule.”

He smiles. “No, you signed that exception form during registration. I assume you thought Elsie would be around, that it was for her, but…” He shrugs, like he’s discussing the weather and not delivering blow after blow.

“Why can you not leave me alone?” I’m breathless, like I’ve gone nine rounds in the ring instead of having a conversation with my father.

“Honestly, son—”

“Don’t fucking call me that.”

My voice is dangerous, a little too loud as it echoes around the empty locker room. I huff, slip off my skates, and yank off my pads, running a hand through my sweat-damp hair, trying to calm down.

His voice only rises to match mine. In the same way he has to be thebestat everything, he has to be the loudest in the room.

“I’m your goddamn father, whether you like it or not, Matthew. Whatever poison thatbitchspun in your head all those years is garbage.”

Biting down on a scream, I barely manage to speak.

“Shockingly, John, she never said a fucking bad word about you.Those wereyourgames.” I pull a gray T-shirt on, not bothering with a shower now. I want out of here as fast as possible. “Even Archer bit his tongue wheneverIbrought you up, more of a man than you’ve ever been.”

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