Page 129 of Unloved

It would be so much easier to agree. To change the subject entirely.

“You know that, right?” I say. “That you have control, too? That you have a say?”

It’s quiet for a long moment. Enough for us to both to sit in the discomfort of the conversation, yet be comforted by the mere presence of each other.

“I’m not—” He stops himself, clenching his jaw. “I know I sleep around. I know what people call me, but… it’s not— I’m notthatwith you.”

My stomach hurts, chest squeezing with empathy. “I know, Matt.”

He nods. “I just… this is new for me.” He laughs a little, scratching the back of his neck, ruffling his damp golden hair. “And I might not be good at it, so… I’m sorry if I mess it up.”

He’s kinder than Tyler ever was to me. More empathetic and understanding, more in tune with those around him than anyone I know. And he’s apologizing because so many people have made him think he isn’t good at this part—that he’s not worth anything other than sex. Like he doesn’t even deserve the opportunity to try.

“You won’t,” I say calmly.

He winces. “I might.”

“By your logic,” I say, stepping closer, “I will definitely mess it up.”

“You?” He shakes his head vehemently. “Never.”

I raise my eyebrows at him, extending my arms as if to say,see?

“Do you want to go out with me?” I blurt out.

He blanches, dropping the cardboard to the ground and scrambling for it, almost knocking his head into my bedframe on his way back up.

“What? Like—like on a date? Or…”

“Yeah,” I nod, a little giddy with excitement. I’ve never asked someone on a date before. It’s exhilarating, freeing where I thought I’d be anxious.

Matt takes a minute, eyes flicking across my face and down, reading my body language. An endearing smile, hesitant and bright all at once, spreads across his face and he nods rapidly.

“Yeah. That’s—yes, Ro. I’ll go on a date with you.”

This isn’t some magical healing conversation for Matt. Everything here feels delicate, like he’s on the precipice of something. But it’s a start—and a real date is exactly where we should start. To do this right.

Matt crawls across my bed and lies back against my headboard, beckoning me to him with a cheeky smile.

“Now come read me the list, princess. Some of the handwriting is horrible.”

Sadie’s handwriting looks like a physician’s scribbles, where mine is intentional and loopy, decorative.

“Okay,” I say, falling into him again.

CHAPTER 46Freddy

It’s the last week of school before Thanksgiving break. Most everyone is packed up or has gone home—half our professors canceled their last classes for the week, which means I’ve been riding a high.

Mostly, because of a pretty tutor propositioning me for a date.

We’ve met up only once this week, for our usual tutoring session—which was mostly filled with me trying to distract her. Fingers tracing the smooth skin of her thighs, whisperingI like your skirt, princess, while I tried to get her to break the silent floor’s rules.

Other than that, she’s been busy. Between helping Sadie with her brothers and finishing her application for the internship she’s applying for, I haven’t wanted to distract her.

We lost our Harvard game over the weekend, which I am tryingnotto see as a reason we need Toren Kane—who, it turns out, is banned from playing in Harvard’s arena. I found the concerning footage of his last game there before we left—only after scrolling through far too many fan edits of the six-five defenseman.

A weekend without Toren worked like a vacation, but we’re back to our regular chirping now as he spins past me, clipping my shoulder.

---