Page 163 of Unloved

“Fuck,” I moan. “I’m gonna come, princess.”

She sucks more firmly, hips gyrating like she’s humping againstthe air, searching for friction. I come,hard, managing to keep my hands soft in her hair as she swallows me with a happy, energetic smile.

After I catch my breath, I mutter, “You turned on again, Rosalie?”

She nods eagerly, cheeks blushing. I lean to scoop her from the floor and deposit her onto the bed, ready to sate my insatiable girlfriend again.

Once she’s relaxed from my overeager mouth and tongue, I carry her to the shower and slip away to grab us snacks from the kitchen—not bothering to dress because I know we’re alone. We eat in bed, giggling and laughing, playing with our food more than we’re eating it.

I’ve waited long enough, and it’s been torture even waiting the few days until her finals and my extended time blocks were completely finished. But I don’t think I could wait longer to ask if I tried.

“So.” I clear my throat, passing her a blue sports drink that she downs greedily. Her clear exhaustion sends a burst of satisfaction through my body. “I want to talk about what Tyler said.”

Her entire body freezes, then blushes, like she hasn’t just been screaming and crying out for me to “Please, please make me come” while I praised her and talked her through the entire thing. My heart swells again, like it wants to leap from my chest and sink into hers.

“Oh,” she stutters, tucking back her hair self-consciously, avoiding my gaze. “Right—um, thank you, by the way. For standing up for me.”

I shake my head, reaching a finger to pull her chin up. “I always have your back, Rosalie.”

There’s another prolonged silence, but as usual, with her it feels comfortable. Like we’re both holding space for each other.

“He was… it wasn’t all a lie. I mean, we did meet, freshman year. At a party. And you were my first kiss.”

My smile is killing me, so wide my cheeks hurt. “I was your first kiss?” She might as well have told me I won the lottery, or the Stanley Cup. She nods shyly.

“Yeah?” I duck my head to meet her gaze, to show off my grin. It seems to soothe her and her words pour faster.

“Yeah—I had my first drink of alcohol, courtesy of you. And then you kissed me.”

“Was it a good kiss?” I can’t keep from asking.

“Yeah,” she breathes, biting her lip into a smile. My heartbeat speeds up, reacting to a memory I don’t have. It also makes me wish for a time machine to slap myself over the head for clearly doing something stupid and fumbling this girl.

This girl who cares for me, defends me, likes me—not for my body or skill, but for me. For who I am. With Rosalie Shariff, I am unequivocally myself, maybe for the first time.

“We spent the night hanging out together. Playing beer pong and laughing and—” She shakes her head with a bittersweet smile. “And it was incredible.”

“But…” I let the word hang, feeling the charge of the air around us. Something happened. Think. Only I can’t—I have no memory of it at all, zero.

“But then you just kinda… disappeared.”

“What?”

“You told me you’d be right back, and you left me there.”

Think, think, think. My heart pounds, stomach churning as I soar through my awful, spotty memories from freshman year. Think, think, think.

Only every memory I can reach includes things I wish I could forget—and I’d never want to forget her. I know myself—even ateighteen and grief-ridden, I would’ve been crawling toward her light and kindness.

“And.” She shakes her head, burying her face in her palms. “And I know you don’t remember. It’s okay—I just—”

“Do you remember when this was? Freshman year?”

She nods. “It was the weekend before the start of fall semester.”

My heart drops into my stomach, skin turning cold. I pull a blanket up around my waist, eyes downturned. It feels wrong to be naked right now, when I know the exact weekend she’s speaking of.

Freshman year, my first big party with the team after spending the summer at practices and flying back to Texas to be with my mother. It was an under-the-table condition upon signing with Waterfell—a condition, actually, that bought my eternal respect for Coach Harris and made me utterly loyal to this team. And he kept my secret.

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