Page 166 of Unloved

Rubbing at the slight pulse in my chest, I continue. “Well, then you know Rhys got hurt last Frozen Four. And now, actually, the guy that hit him? That Kane kid that was all over the news a few years back? He’s on our team—a defenseman on my line. By the way, I am first line now. I actually made my way there sophomore year.”

I’m rambling—I can hear it, but I can’t make myself stop. Even still, Archer never interrupts me.

Finally managing to trail off, I swallow loudly. “So… yeah. That’s about it.”

That’s about it? Have I ever had a conversation with a human before?

“That’s great, kid. The hockey has always been grand for you, but… What aboutyou, Matty? How are you?”

“Good. I, um, passed my classes.”I definitely already said that.I clear my throat and try again. “I had this really great tutor—but she’s not my tutor anymore.”

“Oh?”

“Not because of anything bad, she… She’s my girlfriend now, actually. She’s—her name is Ro. Or, well, it’s Rosalie, but she goes by Ro. But she’s super smart. Kind of a genius, like Mom.”

My head sinks into my hand and I go silent, as if I just dropped a bomb on the conversation. A strange urge to hang up hits me, but I managed to hold on.

“Yeah?” he asks, his voice sounding as relieved as I feel.

Archer is theonlyperson who knew my mom, who shares memories of her with me. Blocking him out of my life felt like the right thing when I was spiraling deeper into my grief, desperate not to pull the one person I cared about into the shitshow that was my brain.

But losing that connection, the place where Icouldtalk about her when it eventually felt right, was more brutal than I anticipated.

The way Archer grieved my mom was how I imagined one would grieve the loss of their soulmate.

I remember being so confused and frustrated in the aftermath. The way my dad reappeared, suddenly concerned with my hockey career, or when I was going back to school—trying to pull me out entirely when heknewhow much it meant to me and to her for me to graduate. My father never cared about her or me.

When Mom got sick, Archer quit his job and moved in with us. Spoon-fed her when she was too tired. And I’d been so blinded by my own grief and anger that I didn’t see it was because he was so in love with her. Devoted, and then distraught afterward.

I remember the night I found him doubled over in a panic attack because he couldn’t breathe through his sobs.

Had it been acceptable, I think he might’ve followed her. But he didn’t. And I’m realizing he didn’t because of me.

To take care of me. It shouldn’t matter that my dad’s never been a father to me because Archer is here. And he would’ve been my dad, if I’d let him.

“I miss you,” I blurt out, feeling relief just to say it. “Maybe we can… get lunch sometime? If you’re ever near Waterfell. Or even Boston.”

“Name the date and time, kid,” he says wistfully. His voice is just as deep and settling as it was when I was a kid. “I’ll be there.”

“Are you sure you’re gonna be okay?”

“Yep,” I say. “I’m not sick, Rosalie. Just nervous.”

“I didn’t know you were afraid to fly.”

I’m not. I’mterrifiedof meeting your parents—officially, as your boyfriend.But I can’t tell her that, so I stay quiet.

Her slender hand rests across mine, stopping the incessant drumming of my fingers on the armrest. Ro intertwines our fingers anddog-ears the page she’s reading in one of her sexy romance books before checking the flight path on the screen that I’ve been diligently watching the entire time.

“Want to listen to a book with me?”

I perk up at that. “One of your sexy ones?”

“Whatever you want.” She tosses her phone onto my lap. “You pick.”

I decide on the one with the best cover, in my opinion, and Ro is already giggling as I start the first chapter.

By the fifth chapter, I’m flushing bright red.

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