Page 173 of Unloved

“You were six.”

His words are confident, sure. I don’t think my dad would know my agenow,let alone back then, when he had even more of himself and his life to focus on. But Archer… he’s always been there.

“Were you… You were there, but I thought it was because mydad sent you. That he couldn’t come and didn’t want my mom to be alone.”

Archer shakes his head.

“No. I came because your mom had just lost her dad and didn’t need to be alone—no matter how much she thought that. And because I loved her.” Tears well in his eyes, and he tries hopelessly to wipe them away before they truly fall. “I still do. I always will.

“And I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you after her death. I s-should’ve tried harder. I know John’s mentality, and I knew it wasn’t good—that he wasn’t good to you. But… he’s your dad. And I was—”

“You were important to me, too,” I say, but it doesn’t feel like enough. “You were important to Mom. She—she loved you, I think. I didn’t understand it before, but I’m starting to.”

He smiles, blinding and brilliant even with the redness of his eyes and tear-stained cheeks.

“Elsie was the best thing in my life. I loved her when we were kids—she was my best friend, my personal cheerleader for our small-town hockey team. And then I fell in love with her when she spent an entire summer dedicated to helping me recover enough to play. When she cried with me after the second injury, drank with me all night when I found out I’d never play again… Ialwaysknew… I knew I was hers. And for me, that was enough. Just to be there for her, even if she’d never be just mine.”

God, why does my heart feel like it’s exploding?

He lifts the chain out of his own collar, the pendant shiny, clearly well taken care of—and an identical match to the one around my own neck.

“It was the only thing I had of her for a long time.” He huffs out a near sobbing breath. “Besides you.”

“Me?”

“Matty.” He steps forward, putting a hand to my neck. “I love youlike you’re my own son. And I will always,alwaysbe here for you. If you want me.”

A broken sound bursts from my lips as he presses his forehead to mine before tucking me into his embrace.

“Cut yourself some slack,” I mumble into his embrace. “I wasn’t doing that great, either. I did some stupid shit freshman year.”

He pulls away. “Yeah, well, at least you kept it together at her service.”

My brow wrinkles. “What do you mean? You were like a freaking statue while I cried my eyes out.”

Archer nearly chokes on a laugh. “Matty, I nearly tried to murder your father when he showed up to the funeral. We got into a fight in the hallway until a few guys pulled us apart.”

A shock of laughter bursts from me, and we stare at each other.

I don’t look like Archer, but right now itfeelslike I do—watery eyes and happy-sad smiles to match.

I hug him again and he lets me. That’s better than any goal.

CHAPTER 61FebruaryRo

“Jump Rope Gazers” by The Beths plays from the Bluetooth speaker.

A light humming sounds, enough that my eyes snap up to where Matt is sprawled lazily, as if he just woke up from a nap and is not mid-study session. His skin glows under the lamps and string lights glittering around my room. He looks larger than life on my twin-size bed.

He’s so beautiful it hurts.

“Are you singing?”

He smirks. “You play this one a lot.”

“It makes me think of you.” Matt pays attention. He knows the lyrics, what I’m really saying.

“Yeah?” He smiles. “Me, too.”

---