Page 2 of Unloved

She pointedly looks down at where I’m holding her, and I let go.

“I’m gonna follow that one.” She points to the captain of the football team, whom I’ve seen on posters around school. He’s a senior, big and handsome and way too popular for freshmen like us.

But he’s also looking at Sadie like she’s his next meal.

“To the bathroom, but it won’t take long. Just wait here, okay?”

I want to say no, it’s not okay. That even though she didn’t promise it, I thought it was girl code not to leave your friend behind. I don’t know anyone here or what I’m doing, and I’ve never had a sip of alcohol before.

I wanted this night to be different.Iwanted to be different.

But again, I’m left standing on the sidelines.

“Okay.” I smile brightly, tucking my hair that’s already started to frizz into curls from the humidity behind my ears. “It’s fine. I’ll wait here.”

Sadie’s gone before I even finish the sentence, working the guy like she isn’t a foot shorter than him. She barely has to say a word; he just follows her eagerly as they disappear into the darkened hall.

I’m alone, and all the bliss, that floaty feeling I chased earlier, sours in my stomach as I sink against the wall.

My eyes flit across the room, seeing directly into the stuffed kitchen where a makeshift bar has been set up. I want to ask for something to drink, but I have no idea what to say.

I want to let loose, but I’m not sure how.

Frustrated, I blow out a breath and do what I know best: people watching.

There’s a group of girls who look friendly enough, but it took me nearly a month to work up the courage to ask my own roommate to hang out. Standing together, they’re all pretty girls with cool outfits and makeup that looks professionally done.

I want to compliment them, but my tongue is stuck to the roof of my mouth.

The lights are off, and some weak blue and white strobes hung haphazardly from the corners of the room flicker across the crowd in a continuous, sweeping motion. It makes everything almost surreal.

One couple in the messy, twirling sea of bodies draws my attention like a spotlight. They’re moving to the beat sensually, like a scene out of a movie, his hands playing along her waist as she presses side to side, back and forth into him. His hand picks up her silky hair as his chin dips into her neck and he presses a few kisses up to her ear.

It’s nearly pornographic, and my neck and face feel a little like they’re burning.

A good burn, one I don’t want to stop. One I want to feel, explore for myself.

I can be whoever I want to be.

The boy tilts his head at me and smiles, as if he’s caught me with my hand in the cookie jar. A lopsided grin that screams trouble of the best kind.

He whispers something to her before letting go, and the girl finds herself spinning into a new set of arms, continuing to dance with them. Just as sensual and jaw-droppingly beautiful. But I’m distracted by the boy now prowling toward me.

Except he takes a hard right toward a different side of the room.

The group he joins is a little rowdier, standing around a table lined with shots, tall cans of different colors clasped in their hands.

It’s a group of six or seven guys, a few girls sporadically hanging on to them. All tall and muscular, handsome in a way that’s almost daunting. They’re playing a game, some of them half dancing to the thumping bass of Lil Wayne’s “Lollipop,” while their eyes stay keen on the setup before them. Somehow lackadaisical yet harshly competitive.

They’re larger than life, and I accidentally stare a bit too long because I cannot physically remove my attention from that same damn guy. And he’s looking at me, too.

This time he’s in the light more, and I can really see him.

Even better, as he makes his way toward me.

Golden hair shorn short on the sides and slightly tousled on top, as if he knows exactly how to style it. He’s got those smile lines that cut his cheeks like carvings in marble, glittering emerald eyes as he grins wider and invades my space. I’m almost certain he can feel my heart beating in time with the music.

“Want a drink?” he yells, but I barely hear him over the pounding noise around us.

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