Page 48 of Unloved

He grows in size, pulling his spine straight and staring down at me darkly. “You’re done. Hang out with us and get over it or go to bed.”

“Fuck off, Reiner.”

He means well, I know he does, but it feels too much like a reminder that I’m like a kid brother trailing behind him and Rhys. I feel ridiculous, embarrassed and annoyed, so I swipe my phone off the table and start to march off.

“Make sure everyone goes home safely,” I hear Bennett mumble, probably talking to Holden. “You can stay here in the spare room if you want. I’m gonna make sure he’s okay.”

He’s silent as he trails me up the stairs, but I can feel him all the same. I stop in front of the space between our doors.

“You’re upset,” Bennett says, voice flat. It’s an observation, nothing more, but from him it feels like a hug. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

Bennett and I don’t have conversations like this—heart-to-hearts aren’t our vibe. I annoy him out of love and he grumbles like an irritated bear, also out of love, I assume. But Bennett is harder to get to know than most.

Rhys explained it to me once. “Bennett needs you to be clearer. He can’t always pick up when you’re serious and when you’re joking. Try not to be so sarcastic.”

At first it felt like I’d done something wrong. But what Bennett really wanted was to be my friend. He didn’t understand me the same way I didn’t always understand him.

We still tend to irk each other, but it feels more like it’s purposeful. Like a family.

“You don’t make me upset, Ben. I’m frustrated with Rhys and Sadie and… myself. I don’t know.” I shake my head. “I didn’t mean to act like an asshole.”

“You usually act like an asshole.” He shrugs his big shoulders and the hint of a smile echoes even as he stares down at his feet. “Makes things feel normal. And, with Rhys… maybe Sadie will help.”

I doubt it. I bite my tongue not to word-vomit yet again.

“Yeah, maybe.”

“She’s not so bad. And she makes Rhys happy, so, maybe she can help more than we’ve been able to.” He opens the door wide as he speaks and his black lab, Seven, lifts his head from the bed before stepping gently over someone in Bennett’s bed.

My eyebrows shoot up—because Bennett doesn’t date or even sleep around, from what I know. And I’ve known Bennett Reiner for going on four years now.

His service dog pads toward him with a whine and nudges his hand with a wet nose. Bennett whispers, “Go back to her,” so quietly I can barely hear him.

Still, I can see Seven settling back against the lump beneath the covers, partially covered by the door and Bennett’s body as he protectively pulls it farther to block my now searching gaze.

“Get some sleep,” he says distractedly, and I nod. “Everything’ll be fine.”

He’s more positive about this than he has been, so I trust in Bennett’s solid presence and say a quick good night before heading to my room, ignoring the jagged edges of loneliness that beg me to find someone to occupy my mind.

Instead I turn onLove Storyand fall asleep to a lull of memories—my mom’s hand in my hair, the flavor of slightly burned popcorn, the sound of Archer asking, “Is he asleep?” before carrying me in his arms to my room.

“You’re my favorite kid in the world,” he’d say, voice quiet as my mom lightly giggled.

“No,” she would say, soft and happy. “You can’t have him. Matty is all mine.”

“Fine,” Archer would say. “Just let me hold him for a little longer.”

The mix of their tones in my memory is more soothing than any lullaby.

CHAPTER 18Ro

“I know you aren’t gonna believe me, but.” Freddy smirks. “I think I got it.”

He spins the paper back toward me across the table in Brew Haven, but instead of his usual deflection tactics, he sits quietly waiting for me to check his work.

It’s not our usual tutoring time, because Freddy has an away game series this weekend, both exhibition games to settle into their team dynamic for the season.

I’ve barely looked over the sheet before he’s interrupting.

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