Page 39 of Make Her Mine

He takes a step closer. “Mia coming into your life is when you first realized that home and family and love and support are not givens. You were five when you first realized that not everyone automatically gets to feel happy and safe and loved. Then, also at a very young age, you got to experience giving her all of that. And you got a rush from it. You became addicted. And now, that’s what drives you. You need to give everyone you get to know and care about that feeling of love and safety and happiness. And if anything would happen to the idea that you fixed Mia, your sense of who you are and what you do would crumble.”

I pull in a shaky breath.

He is… absolutely right. On every single one of those points. I have never heard anyone put those things into words like that, not even the counselor of my own who helped me work through that realization in college.

It seems obvious where my interest in social work and child advocacy came from, but it’s so much deeper than just placing kids with good families. It truly is about who I envision myself to be.

And I am shaking with the realization that Jefferson sees this in me.

“Mia is a grown woman,” he finally says firmly. “If she wants to help, I’m grateful. I think she’d be great at it, and it could give her an important sense of self-worth. The idea that everything she went through could produce something good could be really powerful. But if she doesn’t want to get involved, I absolutely will not pressure her.”

I finally find my voice. “That’s what you don’t understand,” I tell him. “You’re this person, who is so…” I make a frustrated noise. “Perfect. Everyone respects you. Everyone likes you. You’re good at everything you do. So, when you ask someone to do something, they want to please you. They’re flattered. They figure if Jefferson picked them, then they have to say yes.”

He looks thoughtful. “I don’t think that’s how people see me. I am, after all, the one who didn’t play in the championship game or go to my dream college. I’m just a teacher and coach. I ended up back in my hometown living a life like I’ve always done, right?”

I blow out a breath. That was all really bitchy of me to say. Not only is he an excellent coach and teacher, I know that he’s inspired several kids to go into fields that could easily lead them to do amazing things just like his family is doing.

Great teachers matter. Great coaches matter. Great role models fucking matter.

And Jefferson Riley is all of those things.

“You know damn well that’s just how I see you,” I tell him. “The rest of the town thinks you’re fucking amazing for coming home and for coaching the team. Every kid loves you. All the parents love you. You’re also the best science teacher that school has had in years. And I know your dad just hired someone who credits you for him going into science and wanting to help cure world hunger.”

The corner of Jefferson’s mouth curls up. “Pretty ironic that the thing that annoys you most about me is that I came back to Sapphire Falls, your favorite place, the town you think is perfect and where you think everyone should aspire to live.”

“It’s very annoying that you moved back and are the one blight on my haven,” I agree.

“See,” he says, his smile spreading. “We should start looking at all the ways we’re the same. I think it would be startling.”

I shake my head. “Our general life philosophy is completely different. I believe in home and family. I believe in keeping my loved ones close and supporting them no matter what. You believe in kicking everyone out of the nest. That’s a pretty huge difference.”

He shakes his head. “We both believe in loving our people hard and getting what’s best for them. It’s just that you’re soft and squishy about it, and I’m tough and encouraging.”

I gasp. “I am not soft and squishy about it.”

Now he laughs. “You so are. You are a pushover. You bend over backward to make sure everyone is happy and comfortable all the time.” He pauses, almost as if he’s not sure he should go on, then he says, “Usually it’s very sweet. But that was the biggest problem with Graham and you.”

I draw myself up taller. “You really want to talk about this?”

He looks around. “This seems like a good time. We’re here alone. We have some privacy. And it’s probably a good idea to hash this out so that the rest of the week goes well.”

I relax my arms but prop my hands on my hips.

My heart is still pounding, but now it is less about yelling at him and more worry about what he’s going to say to me.

I do not like being criticized, and I know that Jefferson won’t hesitate, but there’s also a part of me that does want to hear this once and for all.

“Okay, tell me all the ways I was so terrible for Graham.”

“You were too soft on him.”

That’s all he says. I stand blinking at him. “What?”

“From the moment you met Graham when you were five years old, you coddled him.”

“Right, I sometimes forget that Graham’s biggest sin in life was not being tougher and not wanting to hit other guys with his body.”

“This isn’t about football. Though your disdain for how I make my living is also maybe something we need to go over at some point,” Jefferson says dryly. “But it was about how Graham never wanted to try anything hard, to never be outside his comfort zone. You were his comfort zone. And you loved that. You got a taste for helping, loving, supporting someone with Mia. And then you found Graham. Graham needed a protector as far as you could see. And you loved that. You loved being that mama bear. So you took Graham under your wing. And you never let him out.”

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