Page 70 of Make Her Mine

Be honest, he adds before I can respond, do you sleep in the nude at home?

I do actually.

Me: Wouldn’t you like to know?

Jefferson: I would. A lot. And next time you try to take your shirt off in bed, I’m not going to stop you.

I swallow hard. It’s not difficult for me to believe that I tried to strip down to nothing even if I was asleep.

I swallow hard and contemplate my next question.

I shouldn’t flirt. I shouldn’t talk about last night. I shouldn’t talk about nakedness with Jefferson.

But I send it even though I know it’s dangerous.

Me: Why did you stop me last night?

Jefferson: When you wake up naked next to me, I want you to remember everything.

I read that three times.

And my body gets hotter with each read.

He uses the word ‘when’. Not ‘if’. It doesn’t sound hypothetical.

I also realize that I’m thinking about where we’re each going to sleep tonight.

Dammit.

Such a gentleman, I finally text back.

Jefferson: Told you I wasn’t giving up the good mattress. But I do like when you beg.

My cheeks get hot. I begged him? For what exactly? To sleep with him? Oh, God. How had that sounded exactly? I wrack my brain but cannot remember anything after about an hour of the movie. Which is crazy. I never sleep that hard. I had two Jack and Cokes at dinner. And that hard cider at his place with the popcorn. But that shouldn’t have knocked me out like that. Which means I must have felt completely safe with Jefferson.

That realization is not shocking.

But now I’m wondering about the begging. I really want to remember that.

He could be messing with me. I do not want to fall into the trap of asking about it. I need to be nonchalant. I need to act as if he cannot get under my skin.

But he can. And even just acknowledging that to myself is problematic.

Me: Noted.

I stick with that as my response, hoping that niggles at him a little. If I don’t react then maybe he’ll wonder about why I’m not reacting.

Jefferson: Wanna go to the festival this afternoon? I have to do some stuff, but I’ll buy you funnel cakes.

One of the few sweets I really like.

Plus, the festival starts today. Of course I want to go.

And that will keep us from hanging out alone. Because if I was begging to be in his bed last night when I was half-asleep…or fully asleep apparently…God only knows what I might start begging him for when I’m conscious and we’re alone and he’s being…how he’s been.

Me: Yes. Duh.

We can play the part of boyfriend-girlfriend but not be alone, and we won’t have to worry about things like how comfortable we are together, and I won’t have to dwell on the fact that he’d probably actually be a pretty great boyfriend if I didn’t blame him for things like all of my best friends and one of my siblings leaving me.

---