Page 65 of After You

If anyone could coax Kyle into doing something off-plan and out of character, she thought maybe it could be her. She didn’t know if that was something to be proud of or worried about though. Just like she didn’t want Alice to be putting so much stake in Hannah and her thoughts and feelings and actions, she didn’t want that for Kyle either. It was…sweet…or something…that he still cared about her to that extent, but she wasn’t sure he was aware of it. Or if he was, if he was glad about it. Surely he didn’t want to be stuck thinking about her and what could have been after she left again.

“And I think I have aplan.”

“Ohboy.”

She frowned at Kade’s clear lack of enthusiasm. “Seriously.”

He shut the laptop and folded his arms over his chest. “Okay.”

Wow, a shut computer. He was taking this seriously now. “I want to remind him about having fun. Give him some positive spontaneity.”

“Positive spontaneity,” Kade repeated. “Okay.”

“And I also think I could maybe introduce him to some of my practices with massage and maybe even acupuncture.”

“I thought he was skeptical about all ofthat.”

She nodded. “But he cares about my pain. It bothered him to know I was hurting.” She felt a warmth in her chest, remembering how concerned he’d been. “I think I could at least teach him more aboutit.”

Kade sighed. “You want to sleep withhim.”

She scowled. “How did you get from acupuncture to sleeping withhim?”

“Positive spontaneity. Massage. Seemed like a naturalpath.”

Yeah, well, maybe that had occurred to her too. Kyle’s hot kisses and sudden willingness to say all kinds of not-so-gentlemanly things had her thinking about a lot of things she hadn’t expected when she’d planned this trip home. “There’s definitely still chemistry between us,” she admitted. “Maybe even more in some ways.” She frowned. “Which is strange.”

“Why?”

“I’m a very different person than I was before.”

“First, you’re not very different,” Kade said. “You’ve had some experiences, but you’re still basicallyyou.”

She wasn’t so sure about that. But she could admit that over the past few days in Sapphire Falls, she’d felt more like her than she had in three years. In her heart of hearts, love and home and history were important toher.

“And secondly,” Kade went on, “it’s very possible for chemistry to increase over time. Experience and hurt and challenges change us into better, deeper people. Those wounds can make us even more attractive to the right person. And they make it possible to appreciate real chemistry and love over the superficial stuff that we all have when we’re younger.”

Hannah knew she was staring at him. But, as far as she knew, Kade had never had a deep, serious relationship that involved chemistry. He had physical relationships and he had meaningful relationships, but they were never the same relationships.

He noticed her look of incredulity. “I write a lot of psychologically complex and disturbed characters, so I read a lot of psychology books and I pick up positive things too sometimes. Accidentally, of course.”

“Of course,” she murmured. But it all made some sense. The changes—the wounds—she sensed in Kyle definitely made her feel more protective of him. Like she wanted to make it all better. Like she wanted to fix him. They certainly had that in common—wanting to fix things for the people they cared about.

“It really is more about fixing the things I broke,” shesaid.

“That you broke?”

She nodded. “This trip is about Grandma getting her hip fixed, but there’s more. Now my parents know I’m fine. And the town’s seen me and knows I’m okay, but not coming home to stay, so they can move on with a new PT. Just like Grandma will realize I’m really in Seattle for good and she’ll give the town the PT clinic. So the last thing is Kyle. I need him to remember how to have fun. To not be scared of letting go and having a new relationship.”

Her heart ached with that idea, but she knew that she had to help him get over this idea that everything had to be predictable to begood.

“That’s going to be really hard after he falls back in love with you,” Kadesaid.

Her heart tripped. “He’s not going to fall back in love withme.”

“You’re right. I think he’s already there. But now you’re going to remind him of it and reinforceit.”

Yeah, well, she was right there too. But she shook her head. That could not happen. Because leaving Sapphire Falls was going to be hard enough. If she thought Kyle had those feelings for her, she might have to admit that she had those feelings for him too, and it would be all the harder.

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