Page 38 of Hudson

“…but if I’m honest…” I say, my voice almost a whisper. “There isn’t really anywhere else I want to be than right here, in your arms and with you.”

We both sit in our words for a beat, and I take a deepbreath. We both have a myriad of reasons why we shouldn’t even entertain dating each other. Yet we both want to. We both want to try this, and it’s almost like all those other reasons are merely background noise at this point.

“I want to try, and Lacy baby… it has been a long fucking time since I have wanted to try with a woman. That’s how I know I need to.” No other man or boy I have ever dated has spoken so openly and honestly as this.

“So you want to try with me?” I ask him, my smile a little coy, my words almost teasing as the reality of this situation starts to settle.

“I want to try a lot of things with you, Lacy.” His cheeky grin is now on full display, and I smile wide as my cheeks feel vibrant red at his words laced with innuendo, leaving no doubt exactly what he wants.

“Thank you for the butterflies,” I whisper to him. Tears prick my eyes at the care and attention that he continues to bestow on me.

“Better than the cookies?” he asks, smiling.

“Not much can stand in the way of me and those cookies, but I think being given live butterflies is certainly one way to do that,” I tell him, laughing a little, still in disbelief, before our noses brush, and his lips peck mine.

“Come here, let me take out your stitches while you’re here,” he says, wrapping his arms around my waist and lifting me from the ground.

“Hudson!” My voice comes out in half giggle, half scream at the unexpectedness as he carries me a few steps to his consulting bed like I weigh nothing. My hold on his biceps tightens before he has me sitting me on theedge of the bed. The sound of my laughter is almost foreign to my ears, because while I joke around at work with Connor and Tanner, and have a great time with my best friend, Victoria, laughing like this, with a man whose hands I never want off my body, is entirely new.

“Don’t move,” he warns before he quickly kisses my lips again, then steps away to gather a few things he needs and places them on the bed next to me.

“Is this going to hurt?” I ask as he lifts my palm and inspects the stitches.

“I’ll never hurt you, Lacy.” His voice is steady and dependable, and I look up and see him watching me. Those monarch butterflies I released earlier have now taken flight in my stomach, and I swallow.

“Okay,” I whisper with a nod, before he picks up my hand and gets to work. As he snips the thread with ease, I hardly feel it at all. His hold on me is soft, yet completely in control. Just like that night at Marie’s Place, Hudson’s hold is a safe, dependable place to be.

“All done. Good girl,” Hudson says, and at his words, heat travels down my chest and straight between my legs. My traitorous body is totally off today with these new feelings I’m allowing to surface. With the thread all removed from my palm, and his warm hand holding mine, he lifts my hand to his lips and kisses my small pink scar. I start to feel a little dizzy and I know it isn’t from the cut anymore.

“Thank you,” I say to him as he packs away a few of his things before coming back to where I remain sitting on the edge of the bed. I’m not entirely sure my legs work anymore or if I’ll fall to the ground the minute I jump off.

“There is a new moon this Friday,” he says, and I nod in agreement. It’s the best time to stargaze, so I watch the moon cycle pretty closely. “I have this little patch on my ranch that has the best views of the sky at night. Mom can come over and be with your mom so she isn't on her own.”

Taking a breath, I give myself time to stress about everything and then calm my racing thoughts before I reply. He has thought about everything and that’s starting to become a common theme with Hudson. He seems to have the answer to all my questions before I ask them. I’m starting to realize that when he removes what would ordinarily be barriers for me, it allows me to just be me. And I haven’t been that girl for a very long time. I don’t even really know who she is. But with Hudson, I see snippets of her, and now I’m really excited to let her blossom.

“I’d like that.” I’m not able to help the small smile that dances on my lips, both excited for another date with Hudson and prideful for putting myself first for once. Although the worry about Mom still lingers and the guilt about having Susan over again to sit with her hangs heavy in my heart. But I know it’s now time. My mom has been telling me for years that I need to get out and do normal things. Date, meet people. Now with Hudson, I think I’m finally ready to just give it all a go. Be all in and see where it takes me.

“I read somewhere that new moons are one of the best times for stargazing,” he says, his smirk now wide, and I blink up at him as my body melts into his so naturally it should be startling. It’s then I understand that he has been reading my book.

“Someone has been doing their homework?” I nod in agreement, my lips quirking.

“Maybe a little,” he murmurs as he stands in front of me, his hands running up my thighs and resting on my waist as he lowers his head to mine. My hands move automatically as I assert myself more, and I cup his jaw, bringing his mouth to meet my own. Our kiss starts slow, almost like we’re taking our time, ensuring it’s all real and happening. But his hands circle my waist tighter, and he pulls my body closer to his as our tongues tangle, our movements becoming more intense. I pull his face even closer, wanting him, and wanting him to know that I do. As he deepens the kiss, my body heats, the urge I have to jump his bones increasing with every swipe of his tongue against mine. The two of us are panting as we slow down, and he rests his forehead against mine.

“I should let you get back to work,” I tell him, looking up at him from under my lashes. It’s just after lunch, and I’m pretty sure I saw a few patients waiting in the reception for him when I pushed my way through earlier.

“Hmmm… you too.” Lifting his lips to my forehead, he kisses me quickly as I drop my hands down his arms. Hudson clears his throat and straightens, running a hand through his hair, and I see him flick into professional mode before looking at me cheekily and shaking his head and smiling wide at the situation. I swallow and take a breath.

He’s right. My wings are growing, I can feel them. Now all I need to do is fly.

20

HUDSON

“This is so beautiful out here,” Lacy says from next to me. She seems so tiny in my truck, but she looks good. Better than good. I’m not sure how or when exactly it happened, but it’s almost like she’s in a new skin. Her eyes are sparkling, her smile now constant. I see a spark of the woman who caught my eye at Tanner’s bar many months ago, and I really like it. She gazes out the windows at my family property as we drive around and pride swirls in my chest. I have spent a bit of time here over the years, holidays and quick getaways, and I paid for half of it all, so I like that she appreciates it. I picked her up less than thirty minutes ago, dropping my mom off to sit with Lacy’s mom for the evening, the two of them talking about some movie or TV show they were going to watch.

“It’s peaceful. I love it,” I tell her, grinning as I reach out with my spare hand and grab hers. Everything is feeling perfect about now. We are in my new truck, I’m driving us over my land, I’m not on call tonight. Everyweek, a doctor from one of the nearby towns sleeps over at the hospital and does the night shift so I have a break. Which means I can relax tonight as well.

“How is your hand feeling?” I ask her. Having looked at it quickly back at her place, I already know it’s healing well, the scar still pink but it should get lighter with every passing day. It doesn't sit well with me that she hurt herself, but accidents happen.