Page 85 of Bittersweet Revenge

“Look closely. The more you look, the more you see the stars. At first, all you see is darkness, but then your vision adapts and you start seeing more and more stars.”

“Okay…” I replied, keeping my head up. And it was true, the sky was now lit with hundreds of stars that I hadn’t seen before.

She moved from her space on my neck and I regretted it, but I kept on looking up. I could feel her eyes on me, detailing my face.

“It means that it takes the darkest night to see the most beautiful stars, Caleb. Not everything is bad. Even in darkness there can be light. Even in the most twisted, fucked-up life, there’s hope.”

I turned toward her. She was looking at me earnestly with so much hope. “What are you trying to say? That you'll be my light? My hope?”

She shrugged. “If you want me to be.”

I snorted, but it sounded more painful than snide even to myself. “You left me.” I reminded her, as well as myself. I couldn’t allow myself to lean on her too much. She didn’t deserve the responsibility and I couldn't afford the risk.

“I came back.”

I shook my head. “Not for me.”

“I missed you. From the moment I left, I missed you,” she admitted, but I didn't miss the fact that she didn’t deny my statement. “I wanted to stay for Archie, but also for you and it was terrifying.”

I turned toward her. “I understand that fear,” I admitted, “better than you think because I’m so in love with you, Esmeralda.”

She took a sharp intake of breath at the surprise. That made two of us. I’d never expected to be saying it now, not like this, not yet, but somehow it was perfect.

“Caleb, I–”

I leaned down, stopping her words with a soft kiss.“Don’t–”

She frowned, cocking her head. “I don't understand.”

“Either you’re about to tell me that you need time or something along these lines, and I’m not really in a good emotional place to hear it, or you’re about to reciprocate, and I wouldn’t believe it.”

“Why?”

She really had to strip me of any defenses I had. “Because I want you to say anything you have to say when there’s no pressure, no incentive, no remaining fear. Let’s solve your mother’s murder and find out who is trying to hurt you. After that, we can discuss this, okay?”

“But what if I want to say things now?” She trailed her hands up my arms before wrapping them around my neck.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her to me. She was where she belonged - in my arms, nowhere else. Now I just needed her to figure it out too without pressure or anything at stake.

“Please don't, for me?” I kissed her forehead once more. “You haven’t seen the extent of the monster lurking inside me.” She didn’t know all the lives I'd had the pleasure trying to destroy, starting with her best friend and her brother.

I leaned toward her slowly, giving her time to turn her head, but she didn’t. She closed the distance and meet my lips, kissing me hesitantly. She was obviously not used to taking the lead. I let my hand trail up her back, to her neck, deepening the kiss and kissing her until my lips were numb.

I finally broke our kiss and couldn’t help the male egotistical grin that settled on my face at her glazed eyes, satisfied look, and swollen lip.

“I’ll accept it, you know,” she whispered after a while, once her breathing was back to normal.

“Accept what?” I asked, resting my cheek on top of her head.

“Your monster.”

I looked up at the night sky, not sure what I could even say. She might think so, but she didn’t know the extent of it and I was too scared to test her theory.

I knew everything was fucked up, but these few minutes with her on this balcony, away from the impeding drama, were priceless.

A fleeting moment when I didn't have to fake, to protect myself from snakes looking for a weakness they could use to their advantage. It was freeing. This was what this woman was for me - freedom. And that was the irony of it all.

She was freeing me whilst I was locking her in. How could it not be doomed?

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