Page 84 of Bittersweet Revenge

“I would die for her,” I replied, my voice neutral, but somehow hurt and vexed that he felt the need to ask. “I felt her loss twice. I never want to experience that again.”

Archibald nodded, taking a sip of his drink. “Then we’re good. Well at least as far as Esme is concerned.”

I snorted. Like I needed a reminder that nothing could ever save our former friendship.

“You’ve both seen the scars, but–” I leaned back in my seat. “What you don’t know is that my mother was the one who gave them to me.”

Esmeralda gasped and scooted closer to me on the loveseat. As unlikely as it seemed, having her closer helped me so much more than I cared to admit.

Archibald looked away and I was grateful. He didn’t want to show me whatever it made him feel and I approved. I didn't think I could have handled seeing the pity in his eyes.

“She had a psychotic episode. I was five when I woke up to my mother standing above me with a knife in her hand. She’d stabbed me six times as I tried to crawl away before Benjamin came in and stopped her.”

“Ah.” Archibald looked down at his hands clasped together. “Is that why she left for a trip to Switzerland?”

I laughed. “Yes, to one of the best loony bins in the world.” I shrugged, but held Esmeralda's hand as if it was a lifeline. In many ways itwas. “She wanted to kill my father’s heir as she was certain your mother had had an affair with my dad.”

Archibald looked up sharply. “She didn’t.”

“He knows that now. Caleb, don’t you?” Esmeralda said.

I looked into her eyes and I couldn’t deny her. She believed that and her mother's diary. No matter my doubts, I couldn't foist them upon her.

I leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Of course I do. But what I believe or not doesn't matter. My mother believes that and my father's attention toward you could be a trigger.” I shook my head. “That and the white wine.”

“The Jägermeister?” She asked.

I chuckled, only she could make me laugh in such a moment. “The Gewurztraminer, yes. It’s my mother's favorite wine.”

Esmeralda looked at her brother again just as Benjamin appeared to let us know that Antoine and Taylor had arrived.

I nodded. I felt raw. It had been thirteen years and I could still see her crazed eyes as she’d stood over my bed that night. I could still feel the blade entering my back.

I let go of Esmeralda's hand and jerked up from my seat. “Let them in.” I looked at Esmeralda. “I’m just going to get some fresh air for a few minutes. Just catch them up, okay?”

Iwalked out onto the library balcony, closing the French doors behind me. I took a deep breath before leaning against the balcony rail and looking out at the dark garden.

The door clicked open and I breathed a little easier. I had hoped she would come to me, join me in my pain.

She stood beside me, her hands on the rail looking straight ahead. “I hope you don’t mind. I wanted to be here with you.”

“No, I don’t mind.” I moved my hand to rest it on top of hers. We stayed there for a few minutes in silence. It was nice, peaceful, but I needed to tell her the rest - things I hadn’t wanted to admit in front of Archibald.

“You know my mother adored Theo. I mean, what was not to like? He was precious.”

“He was,” she replied carefully. “I cared for him deeply and miss our games, but Theo being precious doesn’t makeyouany less precious.”

Straight to the heart!How did she do it?! Read between my words? Know exactly what she should say? How did I even think I stood a chance against her?

“I suspect my conception was not completely–” I looked down at the dark pit the world was and knew my next words would have consequences. They would be words I would never be able to take back. “I suspect my conception was not really consensual.” I let out in a breath. The only sign that Esmeralda had heard me was her hand tensing beneath mine. “I can’t be sure of course, but I’ve caught some arguments over the years. In times when my mom was not high on alcohol or pills. She only wanted Theo. My father considered him a flaw and he wanted an heir that was functional. After I was born and considered normal, he sent Theo away. Maybe to punish her because of the sick man he was or maybe because Theo didn’t fit the picture of the perfect family he wanted so hard to present.”

Esmeralda scooted closer to me, resting her head on my shoulder. A simple gesture that spoke volumes. A silent support that meant everything.

“She hated me from the moment I was conceived and–” I sighed. “There it is.”

“Look at the sky,” she whispered, her warm breath caressing my neck.

I looked up at the darkness, confused. “I don't–”

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