Page 91 of Of Vows and Betrayal

Tiago’s shoulders fall a little. “Man, come on.”

I can’t help but smile at that. It’s quite funny to see a priest defeated by something so trivial.

“Didn’t you make a vow of abnegation or something?”

Tiago shakes his head and comes back to the table with plates. “Simplicity doesn’t mean letting go of all good things in life. Just help yourself,” he adds, pointing at the boxes of food.

I nod and grab a couple of pancakes—the apprehension of this discussion, along with a priest being involved, sparks my anxiety even more.

We start to eat in silence until Derek puts his cutlery down. “So you wanted to know about my childhood.”

I look from him to Tiago a couple of times. “I mean, yes, if that’s okay. You don’t have to—it’s just… it’s fine.”

He gives me a smile, but it doesn’t truly reach his eyes. “I do, it’s just not the happiest story, but I think it ends up pretty well. Don’t you agree, old friend?” he asks Tiago.

Tiago seems to ponder that for a few seconds and nods. “I do. Life can be challenging at times, but it’s in those moments of adversity that our true character shines through.”

Derek clears his throat. “So, I moved here when I was seven. My mother was following her most recent boyfriend onemore time, so I ended up here in East Harlem, starting a new school in the middle of the year as a scrawny kid. It wasn’t easy. I was bullied for the first week until the troubled twins showed up.” He chuckles, throwing a look at Tiago.

“Yeah. Javier and me,” Tiago adds, taking a sip of his coffee. “We’re obviously not brothers—well, not by blood at least—but we were both eight, living in the same building. Kids like us needed to rely on each other. I know you think Javier lied to you about his name, and he did, but he always hated the name Alejandro because it was the same as his father’s.”

Derek nods. “My mother… she wasn’t a good person. She used me to pay for her drugs, selling me to her boyfriends. She died when I was nine. Instead of letting me go to a home, Javier sort of took me in. He was only ten, but he made sure I wasn’t alone. To pay his dues, his father forced him to do his drug deals for him. Javier’s dad was a lowlife small dealer, and he got killed by the Mafia when Javier was twelve. His mom checked out completely and became a drug addict. So Javier took over his father’s role, obsessed with avenging his death. He went against the Mafia, but Javier was smart and driven, and he was also obsessed with Tiago’s older sister, Paloma.”

Tiago’s eyes darken slightly. “Paloma was five years older than us. She liked pretty things, and Javier thought if he had money, he could have her too. My sister, God rest her soul, fueled Javier’s desire for vengeance, for money, for power until it cost him far more than he could offer. Paloma died, and Javier couldn’t even go to her funeral because he was shot too.”

Aheavy silence fills the room, the weight of their shared history pressing down on all of us. I feel a lump in my throat as I look at Derek and Tiago, understanding so much more about Javier now.

Derek’s voice is soft when he continues. “Javier has always been about protecting the people he cares about, even if it means sacrificing himself. That’s why he wanted you to say goodbye to your father, Phee. He knows what it’s like to not get that chance.”

I swallow hard, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. “I didn’t know everything.”

Tiago reaches across the table, placing a comforting hand on mine. “None of us can truly understand the burdens others carry until we see the weight they bear. Javier’s actions, misguided as they may be at times, come from a place of deep pain and love.”

I take a big, shaky breath.

“He loves you deeply, but his own self-loathing and guilt stop him from seeing the happiness that was at the tip of his fingers,” Tiago adds. “A bit like a certain person who is so convinced her father died because of her that she’s now refusing to let herself love and be loved.”

This one hit me right in the chest. I can’t avoid the truth in Tiago’s words. For so long, I’ve been wrapped up in my own pain, my own guilt, believing that I didn’t deserve happiness or love because of what happened to my father. It was so much easier to feel rage, to blame everything on Javier, and he took it head-on.

I look at Derek and Tiago, their faces full of understanding and compassion. It’s as if they see right through me, into thedepths of my struggles and fears, as if they recognize their own struggles in me.

“We all dealt with our childhood wounds so differently. I turned to God and decided to help people like me not lose their way,” Tiago says softly.

“I went off the rails for a while, but despite everything, Tiago and Javi were there, and I turned to computers. I had a gift, so I lost myself in the digital world,” Derek adds.

Tiago sighs, sitting back in his chair. “And Javier, he lost himself in his grief, his guilt, his desire for retribution. He listened to no one, and I mistakenly thought that this drive was a good thing, that it helped him heal. We sometimes think that revenge will help you heal.”

“Except it doesn’t. It festers and infests every cell of your body until you don’t know if it’s them you hate or yourself,” Derek continues, and I have to stop myself from reaching out and hugging him.

It feels humbling to sit here with them and see how they still made it through. Despite everything they suffered, they are still actively trying to make the world a better place in their own ways.

I can’t stop myself, and I reach across the table for Derek’s hand. He flinches but doesn’t remove it, and I see the surprise on Tiago’s face. Just like the hug the other day, he stiffened but returned it anyway.

“Well, this is our story,” Derek says with a nod.

I want to ask. I’m dying to know because even if I manage to get past the betrayal and forgive Javier, I’ll have a hard time living in the shadow of a ghost. A ghost he loved so much he went on a fifteen-year vengeance mission. Aghost he has branded on his chest. It’s petty, and I know that, yet I’m not sure if I could allow myself to live with the weight of his expectations.

Tiago notices my hesitation and gently speaks up. “Paloma’s death changed Javier. It fueled his need for vengeance, but it’s important to remember that it was part of his past. You are his present, Ophelia. He chose you. He loves you.”

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