Page 59 of Of Oaths and Secrets

Nora

Orgasms for the win!No, seriously, I mean that.

After the wave of bliss faded and the subsequent panic settled, I went back to the room. Of course, Rafael was gone. He probably thinks I’m completely unstable—and honestly, part of me agrees. I’m mortified just thinking about the way I reacted. I didn’t run because I was scared of him. No, I don’t think I could ever be afraid of him again. I ran because of how he made me feel.

When he looked at me from between my legs, his hair tousled by my fingers and thighs, his lips glistening with my arousal, and that almost boyish pride on his face—I felt something stir inside me. Something more than just lust. It was tenderness, affection, something dangerous and overwhelming. My husband, and I was basking in it.

But then, like a bucket of ice-cold water, the thought of my own mother’s life flashed through my mind—the parallel of it all. And I panicked. I fled.

Now, as I wake up and try to push past the lingering shame of running away like some impetuous child, I notice something strange—I feel… better. The usual ache in my muscles has eased.The constant tension in my body has melted away, even if just for a moment. It makes no sense.

Curious, I grab my phone and start searching. Turns out, there’s actual science behind it. Orgasms release endorphins and oxytocin—natural painkillers and stress relievers. Apparently, they can even help with muscle tension and improve sleep. It’s not a cure, but for someone like me dealing with chronic pain, it feels like a little miracle.

Too bad I can’t really indulge in this again, not until I figure out how to keep my growing feelings for him at bay.

I want to stay holed up in my bed all day, avoiding everything, but I know that’s childish. He’s not angry—not too much, anyway. He texted me last night, saying he had to leave for an emergency. It was a quick, unemotional message—so very him. Yet it felt miles away from the man who pleasured me to the point I saw stars.

I shake off any remaining embarrassment. I need to enjoy today, enjoy feeling good, because I don’t know how long it will last. I learned young that good moments are fleeting, and when they come, you savor them fully.

I think I need to face my husband, thank him for Columbia, and prove that I’m not a scaredy cat. But as I wander through the house, I can’t find him anywhere. Self-conscious but unable to resist, I ask Teresa, who admits he hasn’t been back since he left yesterday.

That insidious thought creeps back in.

He left because I ran. He said he wouldn’t go anywhere else, but I left him hanging. I didn’t miss his erection, and?—

I shake my head. No. I know him now. He’s not going to do that.

Is he?

“Why don’t you have coffee with me?” Teresa’s voice cuts through my spiraling thoughts, offering a welcome distraction.For someone like Rafaele, who’s feared by so many, it’s odd how calm and unafraid those closest to him seem to be. It only makes me more curious about him.

She smiles warmly as she sits down beside me. “Were you wanting to talk about Mr. Lucchese’s birthday? Don’t worry, he never celebrates it. He doesn’t want anything.”

I freeze, mortified. Today is Rafaele’s birthday. I should’ve known that—I did know that. The date was right there on our marriage certificate. How could I have forgotten? Now, I feel even worse.

“He never celebrates?” I ask, trying to push down the guilt creeping up inside me.

Teresa shakes her head, still smiling. “No, he’s never liked the attention. But maybe with you, things will be different. He’s already been… different since you came. More… human.”

Her words startle me, sinking in deeper than I expected. More human. I didn’t realize how much hearing that would mean to me.

“Have you worked for Rafaele long?” I ask, finally finding the courage to dig deeper. I’ve always wondered but never had the nerve to ask before. Now feels like the right moment.

“Oh yes,” Teresa says, her smile widening as she reminisces. “I worked for his family first, then for him. He’s always been driven, even when he was young. When he bought this house three years ago, he brought me along. He didn’t really need me—he was hardly ever here before you—but my husband Hector was sick, cancer, and Rafaele offered me the job and the garden house to help us out.”

“That’s… really kind of him,” I say, surprised by how thoughtful that gesture was.

Teresa pats my hand gently. “He’s kind to those who show him loyalty. You’ll see.”

She’s right. I can’t say Rafaele is warm, at least not before last night in my room, but he has been kind to me. Giving me an ally for the wedding, bringing Fate into my life, and now helping with Columbia—he’s shown more kindness than most people in my life ever have.

“Does he normally stay out all night?” I ask, curiosity and a hint of worry creeping into my voice.

She sighs, shaking her head as she stands up, leaving her coffee untouched on the table. “No, but it’s usually because he’s cleaning up after his brother. The boy is trouble.”

“But—”

“I’m planning to make lasagna for dinner—one of Mr. Lucchese’s favorites. Would you like me to teach you how to make it?”

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