Page 43 of Demitri

“You mean where I ran into you?” She laughs. “What about it?”

“You weren’t really there. I have a good idea where your head was at, but why was it such a visceral reaction that day?”

“I just found out that Brett was dead. But I didn’t really believe it,” she confesses. “That day, I didn’t see faces other than his. He was everywhere, haunting me from beyond, I guess.”

“That’s not where my mind went.”

“What did you think?”

“I thought someone had hurt you recently. And I wasn’t there to protect you. I figured it was a combination of memories and something new that triggered it all.”

“I don’t need new triggers to find old ones. I just close my eyes and there they are.”

“You’ve been having nightmares.”

“I always have nightmares. The first night in ten years I didn’t wake up screaming was the night you held me all night.”

“I’m so sorry,Krasotka. I’m sorry this has been what you live with every day. I wish I knew you then, I would have protected you.”

“Silly boy.” She reaches over and pats my leg. “No one could have protected me from myself. Not even you.”

At the stop sign before the bar, I turn to face her. “I would have fought all your demons, Mia. All your dark days.”

“Or I would have destroyed you right along with me. We can’t change the past, and sometimes that means we have nightmares. But I grew stronger because of what happened to me. I grew fierce. Loyal to those I love. I found my passion. Do I have issues? Of course. Don’t we all? But I also know who I am. And what I want.”

“What do you want, Mia?”

“I want to be able to love without fear. To fully give myself to someone without worrying I’ll break again. Without losing myself. To be with you, free from the ties to that past.”

Once I park, I reach over and undo her seatbelt and look at her. “I’m going to pull you across this seat and kiss the fuck out of you, Mia Alexander.”

“Yes, please.”

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

MIA

The bar is busy tonight,but that’s not unusual for a Thursday. All the college kids from the University show up and hook up Thursday nights. Because let’s face it, once you’re old enough to drink, you’re old enough to know you never schedule a Friday class before noon.

Demitri is in the office doing some work for his garage, Brodie is in the kitchen, and my mind is everywhere but in this bar. I want to tell my friends what happened today, but I can’t. Not right now, anyway. I want to talk to my therapist, but her office hours are over. I want to close the bar for the night and go back to Demitri holding me on the couch while I cry. But I don’t want to cry anymore.

My phone dings with a message, and when there’s a break in customers, I pull it out from under the bar and read the message, smiling.

Demitri: Will you let me kiss you later tonight?

I look at the camera I know he’s watching and wink. I haven’t been playful or flirty in so long, I was afraid I forgot how.

“Boss, order up!” Brodie interrupts my daydreaming.

I turn around and grab the tray, carrying it out from behind the bar to a table of girls giggling over the new Vivian Briar book.I so want to tell them I know who she is, but I know to keep the secret. We don’t spill on pen names around here.

“Here you go, girls.” I smile, putting their food on the table.

“Thanks, Mia!” A cute blonde grins at me. She’s one of my favorite regulars, and a pretty good tipper on top of it. It takes me a minute, but I remember her name is Lacy.

On my way back to the bar, I slow my steps when I hear a group of guys talking.

“Seriously, dude, one of these and the girl will do anything you want her to.Anything.”

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