Page 57 of The Love Destroyers

More of those stupid butterflies materialize to torment me, and I have a deep, aching need to touch him. But I stay put. There are so many reasons I can’t have him, and they’re good reasons, and I should remember them, including that he’s probably seeing other women, perhaps as recently as yesterday.

Clearing the emotion from my throat, I manage, “Thank you. You were right.”

Grinning, he steps back toward the couch and picks up the kitten. “Did you hear that, Shadow? She said I was right.”

“Leading question.”

Shadow meows, and he snuggles his face into her fur before settling back onto the couch. I lower down next to him, keeping more space than I’d like. “Thank you for coming,” I say.

“You’re welcome for the gift of my presence,” he says with a grin. “Now, what are we going to do? I’m supposed to limitscreen time, but I’ve been known to clean up at poker. What do you say, Emma? Take advantage of a man who’s still recovering from a mild concussion?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

I’m a cardsharp, but so is he. I still win three out of five hands.

Raising my eyebrows, I ask, “What do I get?” He gives me a wry look, and I shake my head. “A real prize. It can’t be your dick in a box.”

“What’s your favorite ice cream?”

“English Toffee.”

“Of course it is,” he says, grinning. “I’ll get you some.”

I want to ask him when, but everything feels too uncertain for me to admit that I want this to happen again.

We spend another hour or two talking—about our siblings, his hatchback addiction, and our work. Even though I’m not a car person, I like hearing him talk about cars, about driving the car he restored through the winding mountain roads. And I tell him more about some of the divorces I’ve worked on.

His eyes bore into me, and I feel conscious again of being close to him. We’re both on the couch now, our legs touching in places, and every few minutes I experimentally move my leg the slightest bit toward him to experience the sweet bite of wondering if something will come of it. Of whether he’ll move toward me too. He seems to be doing the same dance, but we still haven’t had more than glancing contact tonight. It’s all suggestion. It’s a sense of wanting that pulses between us like a third heart and charges the air.

I swallow and he watches that, too, then says, “Must be hard, being reminded every day how shitty people can be to each other.”

I shake my head, petting Shadow’s smooth-as-down fur. “No, I grew up with that. Every day. People in that situation need someone to fight for them.”

Now he does grin, but there’s warmth in his eyes as he says, “That’s my sister-in-law. Likes fighting so much she fights other people’s fights for them.”

“Damn straight.”

I change the subject, needing the atmosphere between us to lighten.

Time passes by like water through a stream. It feels like it’s rushing past at least ten times faster than when I was lying sleepless in my bed. And hysterical laughter spills out of me as he tries to “train” Shadow, who is completely disinterested in performing for anyone.

Finally, he yawns and then gets to his feet. “I should leave.”

“I’ve been trying to drop hints for the last hour,” I lie, getting a smile from him. I rise from the couch too.

My hand twitches with the wish to hold on to him, to keep him here with me so I won’t be crowded in by self-doubt and negative thoughts. But I won’t hold him back. I won’t holdanyoneback. I know what it feels like to be beholden and stuck.

“You know,” he says, shifting his weight. “I think your mom asked my roommate out.”

I grin. “Yeah, but he’s the one who offered to make sweet, sweet dessert with her. You know, I hope it works out for them. They seem to really like each other.”

“I’m surprised to hear you say that,” he tells me.

“Because I’ve seen countless relationships fall apart? It does make a person cynical, but I don’t know. Maybe I shouldn’t assume everyone is screwed. I’d like my mother to be happy.”

His smile is slow and sensual, and I’d like to trace it with my finger, or possibly my tongue.

“I feel the same way. I’d be happy to see Chuck move on. But does this mean we’re going to be step-siblings in addition to brother- and sister-in-law?”

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