Page 59 of The Love Destroyers

He lowers his shirt, but I haven’t forgotten. I’ll never forget.

“My dad had an old hatchback,” he says. “It didn’t work anymore, but he said I could keep it if I could figure out how to fix it. Obviously, that was several cars ago, but that’s how I got into them.”

“Oh,” I say, feeling more than I’d like to. I try to press it down, to make it smaller, but it’s threatening to gush out like one of those sky dancers at a used car lot. “That’s really sweet.”

“That’s me. Right, Shadow?”

Wherever she is, she chooses not to acknowledge us.

I clear my throat—wanting to thread my fingers through the loops on his jeans and pull him close. Wanting to see if it would be as good as I think it would be….

Instead, I look away. “Would you like an escort to the door?”

“Hell, yes.” He leans a little closer, and I feel myself leaning forward too. He clears his throat. “Otherwise there’s a good chance I’ll get lost, and your mother will find me in the dark and finish me off.”

“Well, we wouldn’t want that to happen. Shadow would never forgive me.”

He pulls back, making my breath stutter, and tugs on his leather jacket. Then he surprises me by handing over his phone, his fingers skating over mine. “Guess you’d better do the honors, Em. I don’t want to get in trouble for using my phone.”

The nickname and the request both catch me by surprise. So does the easy way he gives me his code. He’s canny enough to know that information should be kept private, and he knowsIknow. So it feels like he’s telling me he trusts me. Part of me fears a boob selfie will pop up or a message thanking him for sexual favors, but the only thing that pops up while I’m ordering the car is a Honey Do request.

I hand it back over, and we leave Shadow in the room and walk downstairs together. A feeling of possibility hangs between us, even though nothing has changed.

He’s my sort-of brother-in-law.

He’s an un-convicted former criminal.

He’s also funny, complicated, unexpectedly kind, and always interesting.

I could lead him back upstairs.

I could strip him down and count his tattoos.

I could savor every last inch of him.

But sex between us wouldn’t be simple—because I don’t just want him. Ilikehim. Begrudgingly. Horribly. And if I’m already jealous of random women he goes to lunch with, then how will I feel if I’ve slept with him?

He turns toward me when we reach the door, then reaches down and tips my chin up, his hand lingering there, spreading a violent heat through me.

But I don’t move, and neither does he. He just looks down at me for a long moment, then finally says, “I want to take care of this for you. Nicole and me. We’re going to make sure you get what you need.”

“Thank you, Seamus,” I say. “If there’s anything you need, I’d like to help you too.”

“I havelotsof needs.”

“So do I,” I murmur.

He keeps moving his thumb over my lip as if he’d like to memorize it, but he doesn’t kiss me. I don’t kiss him. Need presses against my skin from the inside, threatening to combust. He leans in closer, his lips so near mine that they brush together just the slightest bit, enough to ignite a yearning inside of me so powerful I think it might split my skin. His spicy scent, chased by a hint of smoke, fills my senses. But then he pulls back, watching me through molten eyes. I can tell he feels it too, but he’s still pulling away, which prompts me to take a step back too.

I’m angry, but I don’t know at who. Him. Myself. This is the most inappropriate crush I’ve ever had… I, Emma Rosings Smith, a woman who dated herprofessor.

“It’s probably for the best,” I say in a lighthearted voice, my throat tight as I revert to our usual teasing. “I could never be with a man who smokes.”

He’s looking at me with a regretful smile. “Goodnight, Emma.”

And I shut the door in his stupidly beautiful face before buzzing the gate open for him.

I wait up for him the next night, hoping. Shadow seems on edge, too, peering out the window, but he doesn’t come. At one point, I see lights at the gate. My initial excitement fades as soon as the visitor buzzes up. Because I’m guessing Seamus would just climb the wall like yesterday.

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