Polly groans. “My god, Pippin. You will crawl through a mile-long drainpipe filled with horseshit in an effort to miss the point.”
“That’s…descriptive,” I say.
“You should just be honest with him,” Mackenzie says.
“Yeah, that’s what your mom said, and I did that, and I’m still here.”
Mackenzie shrugs. “Honesty isn’t a one-stop shop. You have to keep at it.”
“Ugh, so I have to talk to him about my feelingsagain?”
“If at first you don’t succeed…” Polly singsongs.
I flop back on the bed and growl at the ceiling. “If you guys don’t watch yourselves, I’m going to make the DJ play Nickelback at your reception.”
“Frantz will wrestle you to the ground before he lets that happen,” Polly says. Then she waggles her eyebrows at me. “Now, would you do us a favor and find someplace else to have your breakdown? We were sort of in the middle of something.”
Chapter24
Toby
What did the pizza say when it went out on a date
I never sausage a beautiful face.
Pippin
I don’t get it.
Toby
Say it out loud.
Pippin
I’m in line at Whole Foods. I’m not going to tell myself jokes out loud in public.
Toby
I question your commitment, Pippin.
Pippin
As well you should, Toby.
I trudge down two flights of stairs and knock on Nonna’s door. God, it’s going to suck when my entire family isn’t fourteen steps away from me at all times.
Nonna flings the door open. “Oh! Pepperoni, come in. I was just about to switch the DVD!”
I step into the small apartment, closing the door behind me. “Nonna, I showed you how to pull it up on Netflix.” I drop my purse on the table by the door and walk into the living room as she slides a DVD out of the season-two box set ofGrey’s Anatomy.
“I like my DVDs,” she says, popping it into the player. “Does the Netflix have the bonus content? It does not.”
I know she’s referring to the extended “steamy scenes” advertised on the box, and you know what? That’s fair.
I settle onto the worn leather sofa and pull one of Nonna’s embroidered throw pillows into my lap. Her apartment has always been a cozy little haven. The one bedroom, which is located directly over the restaurant, always smells like lasagna and is full of the ambient sounds of Charles Street that filter through the tall front windows. Nonna’s furniture is all perfectly worn and molds to your butt for maximum comfort, and there are always good snacks. She’s also got a television the size of a Fiat mounted to the wall opposite the couch, which she purchased when her hearing started to go and the subtitles on her old set were too small to read.
“To what do I owe the pleasure, Pepperoni?” Nonna asks as she settles in beside me. She gestures to a plate of Boursin cheese and crackers on the coffee table, and I help myself.