Page 57 of Sister of the Bride

“Can’t a girl just want to visit her grandmother?” I ask between bites, little cracker crumbs raining down onto my lap.

“Sure, but you look troubled, cuore mio.” She presses play on the remote, but I know she’s still inviting me to talk. We’ve seen these episodes so many times we could perform a community theater version of each one. Throwing onGrey’sin our family is the same as playing Beethoven. So even though the bright lights of a Seattle Grace operating room fill the screen, I decide to unload.

I tell Nonna everything. About how everyone kept telling me Toby was attractive and I should want him. About my salad theory. How he asked me to be his plus-one because he said the gala was more of a friend thing. How I got high on champagne and ice cream and kissed him in the Public Garden. How we agreed it was a mistake and then he turned around and looked at me in my bridesmaid’s dress like I was a king-size Snicker’s bar after a long shift.

“Dr. Nora told me I needed to be honest with him, so I told him I just wanted to be friends,” I say. “I thought we agreed.”

At that, Nonna reaches for the remote and pauses the episode. Then she fully turns on the couch so she’s looking me straight in the eye. “But why do you want to be just friends, my darling?”

“Because everything is changing! Polly is getting married and moving in with Mackenzie, we’re saying goodbye to the restaurant and our home, I’m going to have to find a new job. It’s all too much,” I tell her. “I can’t lose Toby too.”

Nonna sighs and pats my knee. “I think Dr. Nora gave you very good advice. Being honest is always the right move,” she says. Then she reaches for another cracker and sets about piling it high with cheese. “There’s just one problem.”

“What?” I ask.

“Youweren’thonest,” she says, then pops the cracker into her mouth.

“What do you mean?”

“You said you didn’t want to be with Toby, but you lied, cuore mio,” she says, patting my knee. “You clearly have feelings for him. Youwantto be with him. You’re just too scared.”

I open my mouth to protest, to tell her it wasn’t a lie. Idon’twant to be with Toby, but I see immediately the distinction she’s made.

“You’re not playing fair,” I grumble.

“If you were hoping I’d lie to you—or let you lie to yourself—you should have known better, Pepperoni,” she says, then drapes her arm around my shoulders and pulls me in for a hug. “I love you too much for that.”

“Well, what the hell am I supposed to do now?” I ask.

“I think Dr. Nora was right,” Nonna says. “You need to be honest with Toby. But first you need to be honest withyourself.”

Chapter25

Toby

Why did the Star Wars movies release in the order 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?

Pippin

I don’t want to watch Star Wars

Toby

Because in charge of sequence, Yoda was

Pippin

Okay. But I still don’t want to watch Star Wars

It’s the end of August, the wedding now just six weeks away. All the big things (venue, dresses, flowers, food) are done, which leaves just the worst parts of project management: all the nitpicky little things like programs and playlists and making sure that evil great-aunt is seated as far away from everyone as possible. Luckily, I have Toby and histwo whole days off(emphasis his, every time he brings it up, of which there are many) to help.

Before I knock on his door, I take a deep breath in through my nose and blow it out through my mouth. It’s meant to be steadying, but I wobble from the effort, which isn’t a good sign.

Since theincidentin the bridal salon (as I’ve taken to calling it when it enters my mind, which isa lot), Toby has kept up his steady stream of jokes, and I’ve kept up my steady stream of disdain for them. Which hopefully means I’m just walking into my best friend Toby’s apartment today and not the apartment of smoldering lust-monster Toby.

If he’s just best-friend Toby, I won’t have to confront my feelings about smoldering lust-monster Toby. But if smoldering lust-monster Toby is at the door, well…then I’m going to have to try that honesty thing again.

But I won’t know until I knock.

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