Page 110 of Caught Up In You

“But also if you want to tell us what happened between you and Owen, that would be great,” Carson finally says, the words bursting out of her.

I bark out a laugh, because nosy Carson is maybe my favorite Carson. And the laugh helps cover the twinge just below my left lung that always pinches when the subject of Owen comes up.

“I told you. It was never serious. We had this incredible fling, and it ran its course.” Am I gritting my teeth while I’m talking? Because it feels like I’m gritting my teeth.

“Bullshit!” Carson yells. Like,yells, so loud that I flinch.

“Carson,” Grace admonishes, shooting her a look.

“What? No. This worked last time. So I’m trying it again.” Carson clears her throat like she’s preparing to deliver a proclamation, then shouts, “Bullshit!” again.

My hands fly to my ears, suddenly remembering that Carson’s voice is fine-tuned to make a room full of five-year-olds snap to attention.

“Okay, you have to stop doing that,” I say, pulling my hands away.

“Well then, tell me what Ishoulddo, because trying to walk you through your emotions about Owen McBride is like trying to get kindergarteners to recite Shakespeare. I’m fucking exhausted, Wyatt,” Carson says.

“You’reexhausted?” I scoff. “Why is this any of your business?”

“Because we love you!” Carson exclaims. “For god’s sake, we love you to the moon and back, and it’s killing us to watch you do this to yourself.”

“Do what?”

“Pretend you’re not hurting,” she says.

“She’s right,” Grace adds. “We’ve been going along with this charade for more than a month, and I’m getting it from both ends. Owen has been an absolute vault, but he’s back to his old workaholic demon ways. His phone is always attached to his hand, and his mind is only on his patients. Or so he says, when he says anything at all.”

My body reacts to this tiny dispatch from Owen Land like I’ve been starving on a deserted island for months. I’ve tried my best to avoid him, to not think about him, but this little reminder that he’s just walking around townexistingmakes my mouth water. Like I can taste the information.

And I’m terrified by how delicious it is.

Until the reality of it leaves a bitter taste on my tongue.

Because if Grace is telling the truth, then Owen isn’t doing any better than he was when I last saw him. And while it would be easy to revel in the fact that he’s just as miserable as he’s made me, instead I just ache for him. As heartbroken and hurt as I am by what he did to me, I know it all came from a place of deep sadness. Owen was hurting before me, he was hurting while he was with me, and he’s still hurting.

I’ve been hoping that the one silver lining of this whole mess is that maybe Owen would start to feel better. That maybe he’d deal with whatever was plaguing him.

But I guess not.

“Do you want him back?” Grace asks carefully.

“That’s not up to me,” I tell her. And it’s not a question I know how to answer. Do I miss Owen? Like a phantom limb. Sometimes he’s still there, and sometimes I feel his absence like real physical pain.

But I’m not going to beg. All I can do now is try to heal.

“Okay, back to you feeling extraneous,” Grace says, leaning back in her chair. “Here’s the thing: you’ve been taking care of other people for years. Maybe even for your whole life. And there’s still somebody you need to take care of now.”

“Carson?” I ask.

“Hey!” Carson cries.

“What? You’ve been trying to get out of your parents’ house for months.”

“Stop changing the subject,” Carson grumbles. “We’re talking aboutyourlife disasters, not mine.”

“Okay, then who are we talking about?” I ask, because I have now thoroughly lost the plot.

“Yourself,” Grace says. “You’ve been taking care of everyone else your whole life, and now it’s time to take care ofyou. Figure out whatyouwant. Go whereyouwant. Makeyourlife happen.”

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