Page 5 of Best Man Speaking

I hold myself, arms wrapped tight around my torso, as my body shakes and my eyes burn. I resent the tears I have no choice but to shed.

The sound of approaching footsteps has me glancing up, and then Julian’s beside me.

He doesn’t move to touch me or hold me; he knows I can be weird about it. That I’m not used to it even though I crave it. He lets me be in silence, loves me enough not to say,I told you so.

Only at the sound of another set of footsteps does Jules stand, all but lifting me from the ground with him.

“I’m so sorry, Hallie.”

He runs his thumbs gently under my eyes, wiping away the remainder of my tears.

I nod, no longer feeling any desire to speak, as I take in the fact I’ve somehow ended up with one less person in my life. I thought I’d known pain in grief, but I never could’ve imagined the severity of it when multiplied with heartbreak. I think I’d rather feel nothing at all if it’d ensure I never felt this way again. Instead, I push it all down.

As I make my way into the chapel to say my final goodbye, I form a plan in my mind.

A plan to get me through.

A plan to get me out. Away from my father and even farther from Marcus.

A plan to keep me from ever being hurt like this again.

I want space, and a lot of it.

I want to see all the places I’ve dreamed of, but mostly, I want to be anywhere but here ever again.

Chapter One

8 Years Later

Hallie

Iacknowledge my existential crisis about returning to my hometown is at a peak point, bolstered by too much coffee and a healthy dose of jet lag. Waiting to be seated by one of the harried waitstaff, I can’t help but wonder if I’d be forgiven if I ditched my suitcase, called a taxi, and canceled after all.

Slipping my fingers into my black leather bag, I trace along the outline of my passport within its zipped pocket, its presence a soothing balm and the ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card. Thankfully, Monterey has its own airport and is within driving distance of a few more. I catch my escapist thoughts and remind myself why I’m here, of the money I need, and I take my hand from my bag.

Giuliano’s is bustling for a Thursday night. Families, couples, and friends crowd around too-small tables, and I can’t help but feel anxious when I don’t automatically find the faces I’m searching for.

Finally, I see them, seated toward the back. Two of my favorite people in this world.

My best friends, who had decided to make a go of it together, who’d given the whole relationship thing a real shot, consequences be damned, and were now getting married.

I would have lost the bet on them ending up together after I’d introduced them during a visit Jules paid me in my first year at college. Their initial reactions to one another hadn’t been ideal, which, in hindsight, should’ve been the first sign I was about to be kicked out of my own room on more evenings than I cared to think about.

I watch the two of them, bodies angled toward each other, eyes locked, and very much in love.

No matter the uncertainty of my own life, I can’t help but be happy to have crossed an ocean to bear witness to their love and celebrate with them. Because what they have? It’s worth every moment of celebration the world has to offer.

The fact that I could use the visit to my own personal advantage was just luck.

Erica pulls her eyes away from the love of her life, and when she sees me, she lets out a squeal worthy of a fifteen-year-old at her favorite boy band’s concert.

“Hallie!”

She rushes from her table and throws her arms around my neck. I forgive her for it—I’m just as excited to be in her arms as she is to have me here.

She’s as bright and beautiful as ever, with pin-straight, raven-black hair falling around her shoulders and a hug holding more strength than she looks capable of. It’d always been my hope her hugs would pulverize the bones of those who didn’t deserve her friendship or love—a simple way of vetoing those who were unworthy of her time.

Erica lets me go only to make space for her man, my first real friend, my number one for so long, Julian.

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