Page 86 of Runaway Bride's Guide to Love

“Nothing’s ever perfect.”

I let out a quick laugh. “You’re telling me.”

Though there were moments in Florida when I thought it was perfect. Now I’m wondering if it was just the timing and the excitement or if it truly was.

“I haven’t known Emmett for long,” Charlie says. “But I’ve known him long enough that I think I can read him. Until last week, the man was one of schedule and routine. Consistency. Ordered the same thing all the time because he isn’t one to rock the boat.”

“Oh I know,” I say. “Though he does get a little crazy and mix pasta sauces.”

“Interesting. I didn’t think he had it in him.”

I don’t even try to hide the smile I know is on my face when thinking back to that first night in Florida. Who would’ve thought Mr. Don’t Rock the Boat would be the one to push me to try something new?

“And I haven’t known you for that long,” Charlie continues. “But in the time I have, and a majority of that was you being engaged to Duncan, I’ve never seen you smile like you just did. And it was over marinara sauce. I can’t imagine what you’d look like if you told me about the time you spent together in Destin.”

I fall back into the sofa, now feeling more defeated. “I don’t know what to do, Charlie. I’m never getting back with Duncan, but it feels like it’s too soon to be even thinking about being with someone else. But on the other hand, he’s all I think about, and I’m going a little crazy. And then there’s the major flashing sign that he doesn’t want this. He’s been adamant about that. With me or anyone. And I do want it. I want it all.”

I look down the hallway toward Lainey’s nursery. “I wantbabies. I want marriage. I want a family. I might have wanted it before because of me feeling like I was missing out on what other’s had, but deep down, that’s what I want in the long run. And I’m not going to be with a man who doesn’t want what I do.”

“Good,” Charlie says. “You shouldn’t settle. You should have everything you want. And if that’s a family with a husband, a few kids, and a dog running around, then that’s what you should have.”

I feel the tears start pooling in my eyes as I think of Winnie jumping on me.

“I wish he could see what I do,” I say. “He’d be the best partner.”

“I mean, he got you a cake pop just because,” Charlie says.

I laugh. “He’s all about the little things. Small gestures. And he’s quiet, but will say what he needs to when he wants to. And did you know he’s a history nerd? And that he built his house with his own hands? You should see it, Charlie. High ceilings. Beautiful hardwood. And his dog, oh my gosh! Winnie is just the most beautiful golden retriever. Oh! And did you know…”

I trail off because at some point during my ramble Charlie’s smile is now ear to ear.

“What?”

“You love him.”

Well, that’s absurd. Feelings? Sure. Love? Ha. She’s hilarious.

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.”

“Charlie, do I like him? Yes. Did he help me in the hardest part of my life? Yes, I couldn’t have done it without him. Is it weird transitioning from what we were to apparently what we’re being? Yes. But I’m not in…”

I trail off, because fuck. She’s right.

I accidentally fell in love with Emmett Collins when I gave myself clear instructions not to.

“Oh no,” I say, falling directly into her lap as I start crying. “How did this happen?”

“I’m not sure,” she says as she strokes my hair. “But I’m sure orgasms have something to do with it.”

I laugh through the tears. “This is so bad, Charlie.”

“I know,” she says. “But don’t change who you are, or what you want, because of him. I know you did that before, and I don’t want you falling back in those old ways. You’re Stella Banks, and you deserve everything you want. And a person who wants those for you. Nothing less will do.”

She’s right. I do deserve that. I lost sight of that with Duncan, and like hell I’m ever going back.

Do I wish Emmett would want that too? Sure. More than anything.

---