This ought to be good.
“I think the real reason you’ve never dated seriously, or considered being a father, is because you’re scared you’re like them. You’re scared that you are either a flake like Mom, who will come and go and never settle down, or that you’re like your dad, and that you don’t have it in you to be in a committed relationship or take on the responsibilities of a father. So, because you don’t like to take risks and would rather have the mundane because it’s safe, you’ve never allowed yourself to try.”
Do I tell her that she’s spot on? Judging by the smug look on her face, she knows she is.
“I don’t want anyone to get hurt,” I say in defense of her accurate description. “Why would I hurt someone if I don’t have to? Myself included.”
Maddie takes a second and looks over to Jack. “When his dad told me he was out, I was hurt. Devastated. But I’d take that pain in triple if that meant I’d still get Jack out of the deal.”
I never thought of it like that.
“I think it’s too late,” I admit. “Can I just turn a switch with someone? For years I’ve been the anti-relationship guy. And what? Now all of a sudden after one day in the park and lightbulb moment I’m going to be asking her to marry me?”
This gets Maddie’s attention as she whips her head back my way. “Emmett Michael Collins, is there someone you want to marry? I was just hoping you thought a girl was pretty!”
I really need to get out of this funk because I have zero control over my reactions or words anymore. “No. Maybe. Fuck…I don’t know.”
“Is this Florida girl? Please tell me this is Florida girl! I’m not going to stop asking until you tell me so just tell me pleeeeease.”
Sometimes Maddie is wise beyond her years. And then at times she’s my annoying little sister. “Yes. It’s Florida girl.”
“Squeeeeeeeeee.” I don’t know the sound that just came out of Maddie’s mouth, but she’s also kicking her feet rapidly.
“You good?”
She lets out one more loud noise before composing herself. “Yes. I’m good. Now where were we?”
“I’m hoping I’m not like my parents because I’m pretty sure the feelings I’ve thought for weeks were just lust and attraction are something else.”
“Oh! Yes. You’re in love. Got it,” Maddie says. “Just go talk to her. Tell her all this.”
“Pass. Second option please.”
Love her? I love her? I don’t love her.
Why am I even trying to lie to myself anymore? I do. I love her like crazy. I love her smile. I love how she always wants to do a good job with everything she does and puts her whole self into it. I love how she snuggles next to me like she was meant to fit into my side. I love how she feels in my arms. I love how shemakes me do things I never thought I’d do, like go to the fucking beach. I love how she’s inquisitive and always wants to learn.
Holy fuck, I love her…
Maddie lets out a groan, but doesn’t continue because the sound of my cell phone ringing interrupts us. It’s Simon—probably calling me to ask when he’s going to see my face again.
“Hey man. What’s up?”
“What are you doing right now?”
The urgency in his voice takes me aback. “I’m at the park with Maddie and Jack. Why? What’s up?”
“I hate to ask you to do this, but I’m in a bind.”
“Ask me what? Just tell me and I can help.”
“Stella’s going to Duncan’s right now to pack her things. She’s been adamant that she doesn’t want anyone’s help and she’ll be fine but…”
“No. She shouldn’t be alone with that asshole.”
“Exactly. The problem is, Charlie has to work at the restaurant tonight and Lainey is throwing up everywhere. I was going to just show up so she couldn’t protest…”
“I’ll go,” I say before he can say anymore. “Text me the address.”