Page 36 of Beaten

So, how are you feeling?

Better. Sleep, lots of water, and some of mom’s pot roast were just what the doctor ordered. You?

All good. I took a nap and am ready to hit the town tonight.

Have fun. We’ll plan for the 4th soon.

I planned on lounging around in comfy clothes and reading.God, my life is so boring.

After making myself some tea, I curled up with the fourth book in the Outlander series. I was totally hooked on the historical romance story of a modern English woman who falls back in time to seventeen-forty-three and meets the second love of her life, a gorgeous, strong Scottish highlander. Holding the book up to my nose, I inhaled. The smell of a new book was one of my favorite scents. I had to buy a new one to replace the copy Craig had destroyed. He’d destroyed all the books I had in this series, plus a few others. So far, this was the only one I’d replaced, because I was in the middle of reading it when I left him.

Before long, I fell asleep with the book in my hand. When my alarm went off, I rolled over, dropping my book on the floor with a thud. Luckily, I pre-set my alarm to go off Monday through Friday or I might have overslept.I must havebeen more tired than I thought. I almost never fell asleep while reading.

During lunch, I called Chris to talk to him about going to the county fair. He thought it was a bad idea because it’d be harder for Jamie and SSI to protect me if Craig showed up.

It wouldn't have been a smarter choice to wait a few days before talking to him because he was still mad at me for getting drunk at Ashley’s and spending the night without prior planning. I could have told him Jamie was okay with me going, and that Jack and AJ were going too. I also could have dropped it, and talked to him about it at a better time.

But I started a fight instead.

I was so tired of everyone around me treating me like a fragile child. I reminded him, loudly and with no shortage of snark, that Ashley and I had stayed in her apartment, safe and sound, with Jamie there the whole time. Then I yelled at him for spying on me during my night out. He tried to calm me down by saying he only checked on me because he was worried.Whatever. I yelled back that I didn’t need him to worry about me because I was a big girl.

Then he had the gall to say, “I’m the one paying SSI so not only does it make sense for me to be kept in the loop, but I have every right to check on things, especially if your actions require extra services at the last second.”

Not caring that I’d been worried about the extra costs, I screamed at him, “I have twenty-four-hour coverage, so it didn’t cost you anything extra. And I didn’t ask to have someone following me everywhere I go.” My voice squeaked as tears welled up in my eyes.

I didn’t asked for any of this.

Then I remembered I told Jamie to bill us for the extra time because Jack and AJ picked up my car. I should have apologized, but I was too angry, so I doubled down instead. “Jamie said it’s not a problem.” I spat out the words.Why am I acting like a brat?

I paused, then apologized, and finally admitted that Jamie had said Ashley and I could go with him, Jack, and AJ since they were going anyway.

“If Jamie thinks it’s safe for me to go, why don’t you?” I asked, this time without the attitude.

“Maybe he’s not as worried about you as I am.” Chris sounded exasperated.

I don’t know why it pissed me off, but it did. A lot. Did he really think Jamie didn’t care about me? Or that he didn’t care about doing his job well?

“Are you fucking serious, Chris? He refused to let me drive home because I was too hungover. He’s almost as over-protective as you! And you can’t tell me what I can and can’t do. Jamie said I should invite you and Vicky to join us, so consider yourself invited.” When Jamie first mentioned inviting Chris to join us, I’d thought it was a great idea. Now I was hurling the invite at him like a weapon.

“Come or don’t come, whatever, but I’m going.”

“Emily-”

“I have to get back to work.” I hung up on him.Not my finest moment.

I buried my face in my hands and cried. One perk of working from home, no one could see me crying.

I didn’t understand why I was being such a bitch to Chris. He didn’t deserve it. He was worried about me, and I should be happy, grateful he cared. But I’d been lashing out any time he, or anyone, tried to tell me what to do over the last few days, which wasn’t like me. I didn’t get angry, and I certainly didn’t yell at people.

I owe Chris an apology. I loved my big brother, and didn’t want this lingering between us, so after washing my face, I called him back.

“Emi-”

I didn’t give him time to finish before blurting out, “Chris, I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”

“Apology accepted.” After a short pause, he added, “Em, I want you to know that I’m not trying to tell you what to do. I’m just worried, that’s all.” He sounded sad.

“I’m sorry. It’s just, I’ve been extra sensitive to people trying to control me lately.” I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes again. Anger wasn’t the only emotion I was overly sensitive to lately.

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