Page 48 of Beaten

Sure Meg was Jack’s girl, no question there. And Ashley was AJ’s, at least for the day. But Emily wasn’t mine, and I had no right even thinking it. I shook my head to clear it, and focused on the conversation.

Everyone stood up and sung along when they played the National Anthem before the start of the show; cheering and waving their hats at the end of the song.

The fireworks did not disappoint. They were bright and colorful, and noisy. Every once in a while, one of girls would jump after a particularly loud boom, and we’d all laugh. Jack promised Meg he wouldn’t let the big bad fireworks hurt her, she slapped his leg and told him he better not.They’re perfect for each other. AJ had moved closer to Ashley, his arm around her waist as she leaned into his chest, her hand on his leg.

Emily was hugging her knees with the beer-free hand, looking a little sad. I was sure she’d noticed the two couples, just as I had, and was probably feeling a little lonely, just like I was. I desperately wanted to wrap my arms around her and comfort her, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

If I cross that line, I may not come back from it.

During the pause before the finale, AJ asked what everyone’s favorite fireworks were, interrupting my thoughts. Meg spoke up first, saying she liked the ones that cascaded down after the initial burst of color. Ashley and Emily said they liked the big ones with multiple colors. We discussed the shapes, styles, and colors and why we liked them, in the end we all agreed that regardless of our favorite individual type of firework, the grand finale was always the best part.

I watched as the tension left Emily’s shoulders while we talked.

A hush fell over our group, and the crowd, as the sky lit up with the first fireworks of the big, bright, booming finale. There was something decidedly Texan about it. We oohed and aahed along with everyone else as the loud booms rattled our ribcages.

There was a moment of awe-struck silence between the last bang and the first sounds of the crowd cheering. After a few seconds, I stood and offered Emily a hand up. When she took my hand, I pulled a little too hard and caused her to lose her balance. She fell into me, both hands landing on my chest. My breath caught in my throat as I instinctively reached out to steady her, catching her by her waist.

Emily grunted and looked up at me before whispering, “sorry,” but she didn’t look away or move her hands.

I could smell the beer on her breath.If I bend down and kiss her I’ll be able to taste it.

“No need to apologize. I got you.” I should’ve take my hands off her waist, but I froze in place, mesmerized as Iwatched the light from nearby sparklers dance in her pale blue eyes. Time felt like it stood still as we stared into each other’s eyes, but it couldn’t have been more than a few seconds. Though I doubted my ability to judge time.

Jack broke the spell when cleared his throat.

We were still standing on the blanket and he was waiting, with a stupid grin plastered all over his face, for us to move so he could pick it up.

Meg and Ashley were gaping at us with big I-told-you-so smiles. They thought Emily and I would hook up tonight, and judging by the knowing looks Jack and AJ were sharing, they thought so too.

But it can’t happen.

I dropped my hands and stepped back. I knew they’d be disappointed when it didn’t happen, but I couldn’t hook up with Emily. She deserved more than a fling. She deserved someone who could love her without fear. Someone who wasn’t afraid to take the risk. Someone better than me.

Chapter 21

Emily

Icouldn’t stop thinking about the moment when I fell into Jamie, my hands landing in the middle of his warm, hard chest. Or how his strong, protective hands felt on my waist, steadying me as his gorgeous hazel eyes stared into mine. For one brief moment, the world stopped spinning. It felt like forever, though I’m guessing it was only a few seconds. Then Jack ruined the moment when he cleared his throat, loudly.

I felt the absence of Jamie’s hands when he stepped back, but then he held a hand out to me. His eyes never leaving mine, the noise of people around us dulled to a slow, steady hum. I didn’t need his help to step off the blanket, and I certainly didn’t need to keep holding his hand after I’d taken the two steps needed to reach the grass.

But I did it anyway. I couldn’t help it. His stare was intoxicating. His touch comforting. This time, it was a child screaming nearby who broke the spell, and suddenly I waskeenly aware of the silence of our small group.Had they noticed?I brushed down my red, white, and blue t-shirt and looked around. If their grins were any indication, they’d seen it all.And they’re happy about it. I reminded myself this couldn’t happen. Not only am I a mess, but he’s my brother’s best friend, and my bodyguard.He’s off limits twice over.

Ashley had a shit-eating grin on her face the entire ride, as Jamie drove us back to my parent’s house. She’d clearly had a good night with AJ.I wonder why she didn’t go home with him?

Jamie kept glancing at me in the rearview mirror, an unreadable expression on his face, and a death grip on the steering wheel, like he was afraid he’d lose control.Did I upset him?Did I cross the line?Had I assumed too much? I reminded myself it didn’t matter.

For a second, I’d thought I felt a connection when our eyes locked. Maybe I’d misread the situation, and he was just being helpful and polite. That was probably it. He was being nice, and I read too much into it. Now he’s trying to figure out how to let me down gently, because there was no way Jamie was attracted to me. Why would he want to get involved with someone who let her ex-boyfriend hit her? Someone his company needed to protect?

Ashley got out without a fuss when Jamie asked to talk to me for a second. I twisted my thumb ring, knowing what was coming didn’t make me any less nervous. Would he tell me he just wanted to be friends? Or that it wasn’t me, it was him? Or some other cliché expression he thought would let me down gently. Or maybe he’d just tell me the truth, he needed someone smarter, stronger, like Isabelle had been.

“Emily, I-” He paused and looked away. “I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine Jamie, why wouldn’t I be?” I wasn’t, but I couldn’t tell him why without embarrassing myself.

Jamie was just doing his job, which included being helpful and nice, and I let myself forget that. I was mad at myself for thinking maybe he liked me, because despite how much I didn’t want to, despite knowing it was a bad idea, I liked him. I could hear Ashley saying, “I told you so,” in my head.

“Thanks for a fun day, Jamie.” I was going to leave it at that, and go inside, but I couldn’t. I’d acted out of line and he deserved an apology, so I gathered my courage as I sucked in a big gulp of air conditioned air.

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