Page 49 of Beaten

“Jamie, I-, I’m sorry if I crossed a line-”

He cut me off. “Don’t. Please. You didn’t.” He looked like he wanted to say more, but he looked at his hands on the steering wheel instead.

I waited, not wanting to interrupt his thoughts. He was obviously trying to figure out what he wanted to say, and I wanted to hear it.

“Emily, I had a lot of fun today and I’m not sure how to handle this, us.” He circled his hands to include both of us. “I’m not sure what I’m feeling right now.” He didn’t sound like his normal, confident self.

“That’s not true.” His voice was barely above a whisper. He took a deep breath, ran his hand through his hair, and met my eyes again. “I like you, Emily.”

My heart skipped a beat, then another.Did he just say that?He reached over and grabbed my hand.

“And maybe under different circumstances…” He paused, “but for now, I don’t think it’s a good idea to be anything more than friends.”

I broke eye contact first but he lifted my chin until I was looking into his eyes again. “I don’t know if I’m ready, and… and, I think you deserve better than that.”

“I understand.” I didn’t. “I’m not sure about all this either.” I mimicked his earlier hand motion. At least now we’d talked about it, and I knew where I stood.He doesn’t really like me; he’s just being nice, letting me down easy. After all, he couldn’t send his best friend’s sister home in tears, could he?

“You should go,” he looked out the window, “Ashley’s waiting.”

Did he just dismiss me?Fine. I didn’t want to talk about it anymore anyway. All I wanted was to go inside, and drink the pain away with Ashley. She’d help me forget how stupid I was for getting my hopes up.

“Good night Jamie. Thank you for a wonderful day.” I tried to sound casual but my voice was more stiff, more formal than I wanted it to be.

If Jamie picked up on the change in my tone, he didn’t show it. “Good night Emily. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Emily, not Em.

He got out when I did, and waited. Halfway to the porch, I glanced over my shoulder. He was standing near his door, watching, making sure I got inside safely.

Because it’s his job. I turned back when I heard Ashley say, “Come on, I need a drink!”

Me too.

Chapter 22

Jamie

I’d been stuck in my head, trying to figure out how to talk to Emily about what had happened, so I wasn’t very talkative on the ride home. But I needed to talk to her because I’d felt the pull between us when our eyes locked, and there was no denying the spark I felt every time I touched her. But we couldn’t act on it.

Much to my surprise, Ashley didn’t give me a hard time when I asked for a second to talk to Emily.

I still wasn’t sure what I wanted to say, because my emotions were all over the place, making me feel like an awkward teenager. I wanted to put Emily at ease. But I couldn’t even put myself at ease. It didn’t matter, I couldn’t leave without explaining why I was acting so strangely.

From the moment she fell into me, I knew it was stupid to keep denying my attraction to her. It felt good, right, to hold her in my arms. But it was a bad idea, possibly even adangerous one, to get involved with her while she was also a client. And Emily wasn’t just a client, she was my best friend’s little sister. She was doubly forbidden so I couldn’t pursue a relationship with her despite my attraction, at least not yet, and I needed her to understand that.

But when I looked into her eyes, I lost my nerve. She looked worried, and I couldn’t bring myself toadd more stress to her life.

Instead I asked how she was and immediately regretted it when she said fine, because no woman who said she was fine was ever actually fine.

I was being a total chicken-shit. I wanted to tell her our friends weren’t wrong in thinking I was attracted to her, but that seemed like a lot to dump on her. She didn’t need to be burdened with my feelings for her when I couldn’t act on them.Besides she’s probably not ready. If I said anything, things would end up being awkward between us and I didn’t want that to happen.

But then she tried to apologize. For acting out of line. And I couldn’t let that happen.

So I manned up and explained how I felt, and why we couldn’t be together. But judging from the expression on Emily’s face, I’d fucked it all up.

Was I always this bad with women? Then I remembered I hadn’t so much as flirted with anyone except Isabelle since my sophomore year of high school. And dating at sixteen hadn’t been nearly this complicated.

After Emily and Ashley were inside, I walked over and talked to Sammie, asking her to call me if she saw them leave the house. “Even if they’re just hanging out in the yard.”

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