Page 123 of Finding Amanda

"So you're just going to kill me? I thought you cared for me."

He shrugged. "You made your choices. If you'd kept your mouth shut, none of this would be happening."

She grabbed a branch and tried to bend it, but it was too thick.

"What are you doing, my dear?"

She slid her hand into her pocket, felt the cold steel of the pepper spray.

"Are you trying to leave a trail?"

"I wouldn't want you to get lost trying to find your way out."

He laughed then. "How thoughtful of you. Do you really think someone's goingto find you?"

She reached her hand out and grabbed another twig, just to annoy him. "Maybe, eventually." But it would be too late.

They walked in silence, Amanda concentrating on taking in the landmarks, such as they were. They were deep in the woods now, far from the lane they'd driven in on, walking along a narrow, pine-needle-covered path. She stumbled often on the uneven ground, the two inch heels of her leather boots sinking into the forest floor, slipping on the soggy leaves. The snow was still falling, but much of it must have accumulated on the canopy above them, because on the ground the coverage was patchy, like the fur on a panda bear. Dark here. White there.

She could hear Mark's voice in her head as she walked to her own grave.Don't panic, the voice said.Take in the space around you. Be ready when the opportunity presents itself. Don't rush—you only have one shot to get away.

It was interesting that Amanda was hearing Mark's voice, but she decided to savor it instead of analyze it. His voice in her head was the only thing keeping her sane right now. Maybe Alan was right. Maybe she really was crazy, and the voice in her head proved she'd snapped. And who could blame her? Her marriage had fallen apart. A man she'd been attracted to turned out to be a crazy person helping the monster who wanted her dead. Of course she'd snapped, because the voice was telling her not to panic, and the only reasonable response was to panic.

She fingered the pepper spray. She was ready. She was itching to use it and run.

Wait, the voice said.Be patient. The opportunity will come. And keep him talking.

"How did you find me?" she asked, obeying the voice.

"Find you? I never lost you."

"What do you mean?"

"I've known where you were all along. I knew when you transferred from Plymouth to Johnson and Wales."

"How?"

"I kept tabs on you, of course. When I tried to reach you at Plymouth and your number was disconnected, I made some calls. I cajoled a student in the admin office to tell me where you'd transferred to, told her I was in love with you. People are so trusting.

"It was amusing to watch you try to hide from me. An unlisted phone number? Really, Amanda, so amateurish. As if something like that could have kept me from you if I'd wanted you." A branch had grown across the path, and Gabriel held it back with his left arm, shovel dangling beneath it, so they could pass. Such a gentleman. "But the fact is, I no longer wanted you. I knew as soon as you started college, you'd be done with me. Otherwise, do you think I would have proposed? Did you really think I was going to throw away my family for you?"

The words stung. Somehow, she'd always believed he cared for her. What an idiot she was. He was about to murder her. Of course he didn't care for her. She'd been wrong about Alan, wrong about Mark, and wrong about him. She'd been wrong about everything.

"But I kept tabs on you anyway, just in case you decided to start talking. It was a stroke of luck, though, that Alan worked for the company that published your cookbook. I asked him to let me know if you submitted anything else for publication. At first, I only told him you were an old friend. I would never violate doctor-patient confidentiality."

She'd forgotten Alan had worked for Mercury-Concord. So he'd told Sheppard about the memoir before she'd ever made the trip to New York.

Sheppard continued. "I knew when you got engaged, and then when you got married. I remember when your first daughter was born. Sophia, isn't it? Beautiful name.And then Madison. That one looks like you. I may have to look her up in a few years."

Nausea churned in her stomach until she could taste bile in her mouth. "You stay away from my daughter!"

"Or what? Are you going to haunt me?"

"I won't have to. You'll never get the chance to touch my daughter, because my husband will kill you. You might not get arrested for my murder, but Mark will know, and he'll hunt you down."

"Do you really think he'd be willing to risk a life sentence to avenge your murder after you filed for divorce?" Sheppard chuckled darkly. "You have a strong sense of your own power, Amanda."

"He loves me." Amanda froze. Her breath whooshed out of her, and she pulled it back in. Mark loved her. The truth wrapped around her like a down jacket, soft and familiar. Of course Mark loved her. He'd always loved her, and she'd been so stupid. So, so stupid.

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