Page 135 of Finding Amanda

“The point is, I’ve been horrid to you, very”—now, one of those lips quirked in amusement—“dragon-like.”

Oops. One of the girls must have overheard her calling their grandmother that and told her.

Ah, the honesty of children.

She was forming an apology when Mrs. Johnson continued.

“I’m sorry, Amanda. I know those are paltry words, butthey’re all I have to offer. I hope you’ll forgive me someday. I hope you’ll give me the opportunity to show you that I’ve changed. Not that I have that much, but I am trying.” Now, she paused, and silence settled between them.

Theywerepaltry words. Small and insignificant unless she meant them. But if she did, then they were . . . life-altering.

As someone who’d been forgiven much, she understood how powerful a simpleI’m sorrycould be.

Even so, it was hard to trust Mrs. Johnson. “Okay.”

The woman’s shoulders relaxed the slightest bit. “You’ve taught me a lot, you know.”

“Me?”

“Oh, don’t be so shocked. I can learn.”

Not that she doubted it, but that she had learned from Amanda . . . That was the shock.

“Mark’s father cheated on me a long time ago, and I let that betrayal define me. It was a blow to our marriage, but I wanted to save it. Truly, I did. I tried for years, but I couldn’t because I couldn’t forgive him. I was bitter and I was angry, and I hated him. I blamed him for everything that went wrong after that. And when I couldn’t stand to be around him anymore, I divorced him.

“Hayden remarried and was happy, while I wallowed in my bitterness, hating him all the more. I thought, what right did he have to be happy after what he’d done? But he didn’t let my hatred define him. He gave his life to Christ and found forgiveness—which only made me angrier.

“And then I found out that my son was unfaithful to you.”

Amanda felt the familiar stab at the memory of Mark’s betrayal. But the pain was a little less acute every time.

“What Mark did with Annalise was no different than what his father did to me. And when I found out . . .” She looked down at the baby, then over Amanda’s head toward the wall. “I’m ashamed to say I looked forward to the day you learned about his unfaithfulness. You two were already separated. I figured that would be the last straw, and you’d divorce him.

“But Mark confessed everything to you, and you forgave him. You saved your marriage. You didn’t let it destroy you or your family.” She peered at Joey again. “And now you have a new little one, God Will Give. What a perfect name.” Her voice cracked. “God has given you a second chance—and this beautiful baby—because you were able to forgive.”

Amanda swiped away the moisture on her cheeks. “Mark pursued me even when I was awful to him. He never gave up on me. He risked his life for me. And he forgave me.”

“Yes.” She smiled that rare, genuine smile. “My son is rather amazing.”

“I agree completely. I’m very blessed.”

She was nodding. After a swallow, she said, “So is he, Amanda, to have you and this family you’ve given him.”

Oh.

She blinked, but the tears wouldn’t be stopped.

“I know I have a long way to go to earn your trust back.” Again, she straightened as if preparing for battle. “But I’m determined to do it. I’ve learned—first from you and Mark, and now at church and working with a Christian counselor—that forgiveness is the cure for my unhappiness.” She kissed Joey’s head. “I am still who I am. I can be tough and judgmental. I can be harsh and difficult to get along with. It’s probably going to take the rest of my life to overcome those things.” Her smile was slight. “I know I’m unworthy to be a part of your family.”

This woman who’d treated Amanda so badly for her entire marriagewasunworthy. But then, so was Amanda. So was Mark.

That still, quiet voice Amanda was learning to recognize asthe Lord’s spoke into her heart.You changed with My help. And now you’re free. Do you doubt My ability to change her?

Amanda could choose to hang onto her fear, or she could trust the God who’d saved her, over and over.

The God who loved Patricia Johnson the same way that He loved Amanda.

She reached toward her mother-in-law, and the woman took her hand. “I forgive you, Mrs. Johnson.”

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