Page 58 of Finding Amanda

Down the flights of stairs, he pushed open the building's outside door, automatically scanning the parking lot. Everything seemed in its place this morning. His elderly neighbor's green Lincoln was gone, but she'd told him in passing she'd be visiting her kids this week. The rest of the cars were accounted for.

The skills he'd learned in the Marines weren't necessary these days, though he'd been glad for the training last night as he'd searched the house. He'd half-hoped to find someone in there. His life was out-of-control, and Mark needed to pound something. A prowler would have been just the ticket.

When he reached his truck, his landlady rushed around the corner from the rental office in the adjoining building. "Mr. Mark! I did it!"

He wasn't in the mood. Forcing a smile, he turned to face her. She wore a big grin and her trademark overalls.

"Did what?"

"I found you beautiful lady for the apartment! Ooh, you wait. You like her."

He yanked his car door open. "I told you, I'm not interested."

Her shoulders slumped, and her smile faded.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean . . . I do appreciate it, and I'm sure she's very pretty."

The landlady nodded solemnly and walked away, muttering. "What kind of crazy woman kick out man like that?"

He turned his truck toward Amanda's house, wondering if he should have his landlady talk to his wife. Amanda wouldn't be impressed.

At the hospital the night before, and back at the house, things had been strained and tense between them. How many times could he tell her he loved her, only to have her reject him? How many times would he climb out of his fear, shove his pride aside, and lay himself bare for her, only to have her slap him down?Oh, Father, he prayed, but it stopped there. He'd begged God so many times to reunite them, to change Amanda's heart, to let him go home. Was God listening?

He'd seen something in her eyes the night before, first when he slid past her to return his gun to the truck. For just a moment, she looked at him like she had when they first met. He'd seen love, maybe even longing. And later, when he was about to leave, he could swear she'd wanted him to kiss her. But then her face had darkened, and she'd backed away.

She was fighting her feelings for him, but why? Was being married to him so awful she'd rather be lonely, separated from him, when she still loved him? It didn't make sense, and in his groggy state of mind, he couldn't figure it out. Memories twirled around in his brain, coming to the forefront one at a time, then falling away, only to be replaced by another, either near or distant, memories of times when Amanda wanted him.

At home, light bathed his yard, the sun streamed throughthe bare branches of the forest in the east. The wind had nudged the remaining leaves to the ground, leaving a crunchy, colorful blanket beneath his feet. He would need to rake soon.

Last year, they'd accomplished the task as a family. Amanda and Mark raked leaves into giant piles, which the girls were supposed to shove into plastic bags. But the girls had started giggling and playing, and after a little work, the four of them were jumping in the colorful mounds.

The memory of that day stung, the wind kicking dust into his eyes and causing them to water. He made his way to the front door.

His finger stopped just before he pushed the doorbell. He didn't want to wake the girls. He had a key, but if Amanda had set the alarm, and if she hadn't disarmed it yet, then he'd set it off as soon as he pushed the door open. He opted for a knock, opening the storm door and rapping softly against the wood. He heard a few beeps, barely audible, on the opposite side of the door before it swung open.

Amanda wore jeans and a long-sleeved teal button down shirt he'd bought her years earlier. The color accented the gold in her hair and the blue of her irises, and she took his breath away.

"Good morning," she said. "Thanks for not ringing."

He tried to calm his suddenly racing heart, hoping his pain wasn't displayed on his face again this morning. Her pity the night before still stung.

"They still sleeping?"

"Uh-huh. Come on in."

He stepped inside and carried the two suitcases to the foot of the stairs.

"Thanks for bringing those by."

"No problem. Did they sleep okay?"

She nodded and made her way into the kitchen. "Yeah. Ichecked on Madi about a hundred times, but she seemed to be breathing fine."

"Sorry. I should've brought them back to my place. You didn't need that."

Amanda shook her head. "Oh, no, I couldn't have slept at all if they weren't here. I'd have worried all night."

He offered one curt nod. Of course. He couldn't be trusted with them.

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