Page 98 of Finding Amanda

"I figured. But at least it's a chance. And, really it's a long drive from where he lives in Andover when he could get down here easier, but it makes me nervous to have you so far away like that."

She sipped her coffee and set it on the table. "Fine."

"But, even with that, I'd like you to ask someone in the store to meet you outside and walk you in. Tell them you have a stalker, so you're not alone. Will you do that for me?"

She nodded.

"And when you get to the inn? Can you have Frank walk you in and out?" The inn's owners Frank and Claire had become friends over the years. Frank was in his eighties, certainly too old to fend off an attacker, but Mark figured Gabriel wouldn't want witnesses.

"That's overkill. No one knows where I'm going to be."

"Then I'll just come up?—"

"Fine. Whatever."

"You promise?"

She drummed her fingers against the side of the cup. "Yeah, okay. I'll ask him."

"Thank you. Can you call Roxie today?"

"Yes."

"Thank you."

She pushed her chair back and stood.

"There's something else."

She pulled her coat off the back of her chair. "We have nothing else to talk about."

"Five more minutes."

After a heavy sigh, she sat and folded her coat across her lap.

"I need to say something to you." He waited while she looked out the window, down at her hands, at the other customers. At anything but at him. The silence between them was thicker than her mocha. Did she feel it, too? Finally she met his eyes, and he spoke. "I want you to know I love you. I know I've told you over and over these last few weeks, but I need to say it one more time. I love you, and I want you back." When Amanda said nothing, Mark continued. "Yesterday you said you'd never forgive me. Do you still feel that way?"

"Yes."

"I . . ." He swallowed a lump in his throat. "I believe you. If you don't want to forgive me, then I can imagine you holding on to your anger forever. I've watched it happen. I watched my father grovel and beg my mother to forgive him after he had his affair. For years he tried to make it up to her. She let him all but kill himself trying to fix it, to make it right, to . . . I don't know, somehow undo it. And when he was broken and tired and done, she divorced him. And now . . . well, you know what happened. Mother is still miserable. She was before he cheated on her, and she always will be. And Dad's happily married to someone else. He should've given up on Mom years ago."

"Are you comparing me to your mother again?"

"You're not a miserable, bitter person. But I think the ability to forgive, it's not natural. Forgiveness is a gift you've never been interested in. If you don't want to forgive me, then . . . well, I believe you won't."

"What are you saying?" Her voice was hard and demanding,but he thought he saw a flicker of fear. Good, because he was terrified.

"I'm saying that, if you really feel that way, then there's no need to wait a week. Just file the papers, and let's be done with it."

She blinked a few times and sniffed, but to her credit, she kept the tears hidden. He knew they were there. He was hiding his own as well.

"That's really what you want?"

"No. I told you, I want you back. But if you're determined . . ." He shrugged. "I'm not going to grovel like my father did."

"Is that all?"

"Yes."

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