“You are,” Dad answered through a smile. “It’s hard to face love again when you’ve lost something big in your life. It might not have been his partner, but if Parker lost both parents, I can’t say I can hold it against him.”
“I know,” I said sadly. “That’s why he held himself back from Leo at first. But once he stepped past that fear, Dad,”—I laid a hand on my chest and shook my head—“it was amazing to watch. I admire him, and he probably wouldn’t even understand why because he’s so hard on himself.”
Dad gave me a knowing look. “Sounds like you two have that in common.”
“Maybe.”
We were quiet, and I felt so much better just saying it out loud. Releasing the weight of the lie eased the pressure on my chest. Talking about him, without any pretense behind it, was a staggering sort of relief.
“I should apologize too,” he said slowly.
“For what?”
“The stipulations of your trust,” he answered. Dad took my hand in his and squeezed. “You were so young when we set that up, and it’s the same way your grandparents set up your mother’s trust. It’s how we bought our first house. How we started our life before my fighting career took off.” He shook his head, weariness stamped over his features. “I didn’t feel like I should change it after your mom died because we’d made that decision together just after you were born. But it was short-sighted,” he admitted. “And I’m sorry.”
“Well, how were you supposed to know I’d go and do something like this?” I asked, aiming for a breezy tone, but based on the look on his face, I didn’t quite get there.
“Kid, you’ve been surprising me from the moment you arrived.” He motioned me in for a hug, and I leaned into his embrace, sighing at the feel of my dad’s arms holding me tight. “I wish I could take this away from you, but I can’t,” he said, pressing his cheek to the top of my head.
I closed my eyes for a moment before pulling back. “I still don’t know what’s going to happen next. It’s driving me crazy.”
He chuckled. “You never did very well at being patient, did you?”
“No, I guess not.”
My dad’s eyes searched my face. “This is not a surprise to me, gingersnap.”
“It’s not?”
“If I know one thing, my firstborn daughter, it’s that you were never meant for a safe, steady love.” His eyes glossed over. So did mine. “You have a wild heart, Anya, and whoever gets that heart is a lucky man.”
It was hard to speak around the lump in my throat. “Even if he doesn’t know he has it?”
“Even then.”
I closed my eyes. “You know what’s stupid? I was so excited to be there for him at his first game. He told me he’s never had a partner there for him like that, and I promised I’d be there. Even with everything we just said, I hate the idea that he won’t get that. He deserves it.”
“Who says you can’t still go?” My dad’s gaze was steady on mine when I risked a glance in his direction.
“You think I should?”
He answered carefully. “I think it’s important to keep our promises to people.”
Parker’s face flashed on the television again, the show having restarted at the top of the hour. How long would I feel a pinch in my chest at the sight of it?
“It is,” I said quietly.
Before my dad could say anything else, Willa poked her head around the corner. “You guys were talking for so long,” she moaned. “It was really boring.”
“What did we tell you about eavesdropping, Willa?” Dad asked, but he held his arm out, and she scrambled up on his lap.
“To not to,” she sighed. “But Ialwaystell you the good stuff. Like when Violet was going to have sex with her stupid boyfriend at homecoming.”
My dad pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, that was a wise one to pass along. I promised you five bucks for that, didn’t I?”
My sister grabbed his face with both hands and smacked a kiss on the tip of his nose. “I think it’s ten now.”
“Is it?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.