Emmett Ward: You married Anya.
Me: Is there a question buried in there, or do you suck at using punctuation?
Emmett Ward: YOU MARRIED ANYA? What the hell is going on??
Me: Remember when I risked my ass to help you with a chance with my sister? This is me calling in my payback. Quit text yelling at me, and I’ll talk to you soon.
Emmett Ward: Adaline is giddy about this. She screamed. Loudly. I was less enthusiastic.
Me: Good. Great. You know, I’ve had two of my teammates end up with a sister at this point, and I don’t want to hear another fucking word unless it’s HEY MAN, congrats on the nuptials.
My phone buzzed again and the sight of my sister Greer’s name caused my stomach to drop down to my feet.
Greer: Oh baby brother, you’ve got some ’splaining to do. Mom is going to lose her mind.
Me: I planned on calling her later.
Greer: I’ll try to keep her from seeing it, but that woman is sneaky.
Me: Ask her to babysit Olive. She’ll be too busy to go online.
Greer: The things I do for my brothers, I swear…
Me: Don’t even act like we’ve never had to hide shit for you. Remember when you broke that window at Dad’s shop in high school? I never told a soul it was you. Everyone was convinced it was Cameron.
Greer: Not even remotely the same. You woke up with a hot wife from sports royalty, buddy, and last I checked, your ass can hardly keep a plant alive. Good luck with this one.
The next one came from my youngest sister, Poppy.
Poppy: OMG WHAT HOW WHO WHY WHO?
Me: You’re too pregnant to get this worked up. I’ll answer all your questions later.
Poppy: Does Mom know?
Me: NO. I’m calling her later. Greer promised to distract her.
Poppy: I’ll fake some labor pains. That should do it.
Me: Dear God, please don’t.
Buzz. Buzz.
“For fuck’s sake,” I muttered. The brothers finally heard the news.
Cameron: Congratulations on marrying a stranger we don’t know and have never heard you speak of even a single time.
Cameron: Does Sheila know?
Ian: If Sheila knew, we’d hear the supersonic boom of her excited scream. Congrats, bro. Hope she can handle your mopey ass well enough.
Me: No, Sheila doesn’t know. I’m calling her later. Greer is on distraction duty.
Ian: Oh GREAT. Who knows what the hell she’s gonna do. You can’t give her important jobs like that.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed, not realizing Anya had woken up until I dropped my hand in my lap. Her eyes were sharp and clear, focused right on me.
“Marital regrets?” she asked lightly, sitting up in the seat and folding her long legs up against her chest.