Page 99 of This Wild Heart

Would I be there?

Would I be back home?

Panic clawed at my chest. How did I let this happen? I felt like I’d been stripped of every rational thought when it came to this man, and even worse, given another chance, I was fairly certain that I’d march right back to where this all started and make every single decision over again.

I’d jumped straight in. No matter how firmly I’d instructed myself not to, I’d fucking jumped. Along the way, there were moments when I felt a whisper of premonition—and it always started when he kissed me. Here first. And in Sheila’s kitchen for his entire family to see.

It was tucked away in moments of pretending that the most damage was done, and I’d been willfully blind to what it meant. I’d locked that away too, hadn’t I? Pretending to love Parker was easy for a reason, and forcing myself to admit it now left me wide open for a world of hurt.

He’d hurt me without realizing it, without trying to. Not only that, but he’d hate himself for it.

And Leo. God, that little baby, I already loved him so much. I’d have to let both of them go, wouldn’t I?

The thought of it stopped my heart.

Parker’s hand curled along the back of my neck, his thumb brushing the edge of my neck, and the icy threads of panic receded at the simple touch.

“Want me to keep him in my room tonight?” he asked, oblivious to my stunning mental gymnastics.

My eyes pinched shut. We didn’t need to share a bed anymore. No midnight conversations in a dimly lit room. No magic moments that felt just like ours.

Inside the cage of my chest, I hurt. Everything hurt, every square inch of my body. There was only one reason for this kind of pain, and oh how I’d promised myself I’d never feel it again.

Falling for someone who wouldn’t let themselves love you back wrings your heart out in a way that nothing else quite did. It wasn’t a sharp pain; it wasn’t throbbing and loud. It lingered, spreading to every corner of your body until you felt it everywhere.

“I don’t mind helping,” I told him. “You have a big day tomorrow.”

Fool. What a fool I was.

We couldn’t keep doing this without a plan. Without laying out how this would all play out. My brain screamed for it.

Think this through.

Make sure you’ll be okay.

Parker’s calloused fingers drew a slight shiver when he removed his hand. Even though my legs felt weak, I managed to stand, angling toward him while I desperately tried to school my expression to something less … heartbreaking.

“You’ve earned a night off,” he said, eyes searching my face.

I managed a smile. “Okay. I’ll, umm, I’ll keep my door open in case you need anything.”

The air went thick between us, and Parker’s gaze lowered to my mouth.

Yes.

Yes, I thought with a cruel, desperate edge to my racing heartbeat. Despite how much it might hurt later, if he’d pushed, I would’ve fallen straight into his arms, knowing exactly what awaited me there.

It was more than furious passion, and it far surpassed simple chemistry.

I’d fallen in love with this incredibly complicated man. With all the sides of him, even the sides he was desperately trying to rid himself of.

“If I need anything?” he asked quietly.

I let out a shaky exhale. “Yeah.”

Parker’s eyes held mine for another beat. “What about you? Should I leave my door open too?”

Take a step, he was saying.Meet me here.

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