Page 183 of Chaos Kills

I could feel the fear billowing off him in a heavy, thick cloud of panic, and there was literally no way I was grabbing my sisters’ things and taking off. I had to make sure he was okay.

Or himself, at the very least.

Following Cairo’s direction to which room was his, I knock twice before opening the door, half-expecting something to fly at me the moment I do.

A blue lava lamp is on, illuminating only a small portion of the room, where clothes are thrown every which way onto the floor from what I can see.

In the corner is a mattress on the floor with no box spring just like Reeve’s, draped in black sheets and a comforter. There’sa small dresser, but nothing else that makes it appear like he gives a shit about this room. Unpacked boxes are stacked on top of each other, and it feels…not homey.

At all.

It’s like he just arrived and never took the time to unpack or give a shit that he could be kicked out at any time.

Risking it, the lack of a hard object flying my way gets me to slide inside, and I find Ozzy near a window with the curtains drawn back. He doesn’t glance my way, sitting along the ledge and peering out into the night as if trying to find something.

Or calm down.

There are a lot of unfinished talks between him and me. Ones I don’t know how to start. I’ve tried to pull some information out of him between why he married me and if something is looming over his head, but I’ve fallen short.

Every single time.

“Hey,” I mutter. “Is it okay that I’m here?”

Silence answers me back, so I decide to gamble it again and slowly close the door behind me.

I quickly steal another look around, finding a ripped box of playing cards discarded on the floor. Comic books are scattered aimlessly, so I pluck them up and stack them neatly before working on the cards.

Then I center myself in the room, sit down, and cross my legs underneath each other as I begin to shuffle.

“Think Cairo will slice my throat on my way out for punching his ex?” I peer up at Ozzy who only glances at me before averting his gaze back out the window. “I think he might.”

A wave of silence crashes between us, but I’m used to it. Sometimes it’s peaceful, but other times, it drives me fucking nuts.

However, right now, it’s fine. I know I need to tread lightly here with him.

“The sound of Matteo’s voice creeps me out, too,” I get out, trying to work in a conversation or maybe just allow him to get to know me more. “After all these years, I still haven’t managed to get past everything he’s done to me.” I shake my head. “It’s pathetic, really.”

I feel his eyes on me, but I don’t look up from what I’m doing. The colors of the pictures blur in my vision as I press on.

“But I try not to be too hard on myself,” I continue. “If I let my guard down with him, look what he does. His life goal is to still use me to destroy South Shore and get what he’s always wanted because he couldn’t get it himself. The asshole doesn’t believe in having respect and earning it. He demands it. But I’d rather die than watch him take over my father’s town.”

“You’re leaving.”

His voice is gentle, but his words feel like a deep slash to my chest.

He’s right.

I’m abandoning home. I’m leaving South Shore to find solace and peace for my sisters. I’m running away from the problems instead of facing them.

“What would you do?” I ask, still staring at the cards. “If you had everything to lose.”

The room blares with more quiet, but it’s a stupid question if you really think about it.

He’d stay.

His family, his brothers, they’re here. They might be on the so-called right side of Emilio, but no one is truly safe from my biological father. He can flip the script whenever he wants.

“Will you play with me?” I smack the deck with my fingers, but keep my chin tucked in my chest. I feel as though when I don’t look at him, he seems to open a little more.

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