Page 208 of Chaos Kills

She leans up and takes my lips, kissing me deep and slow, and trying to wrap me around that pretty little finger of hers.

To forgive her.

“I’m not yours anymore,” I vouch. “I can’t be yours again.”

“You’ll always be—” I bite down on her lower lip, the one that drives me fucking crazy and get her to stop talkin’ shit.

“You don’t get to decide,” I growl with her soft lips still between my teeth. “You don’tgetme.”

“My pussy says differently.”

I release her wrists and capture those fucking rattling lips.

She keeps talking, and my brain might listen. I might re-rationalize this whole fucking scenario when I know better.

That’s the thing with being in love.

You ignore things you know you shouldn’t. You’re paralyzed in a state of comfort when, really, it’s a fucking shitshow of a storm where you begin to change and become lost. You start to lose yourself.

Except, I feel more lost without her than I ever felt before.

My balls tighten so hard, I groan between kisses and tongue battles with the woman who’s never gonna leave my head for the rest of my life. I’m stuck with her. One way or another, I’m so fucking fixed in place when it comes to how I feel and will always feel for her.

“Oh, Bay…you were made for me, baby. I swear to God, you’re with the wrong?—”

“Don’t say the wrong guy,” she clips out desperately. “I’m with you.”

I shake my head to keep her comment from fully entering it. There has to be a limit, a line that can’t be crossed. I’ve allowed myself time to live in agony and mourn the loss of us. Now, I have things I have to do in my personal life. “Let’s talk about this pussy and how tight it’s squeezing me. This is what I needed, baby.

“You’re shutting me out.”

“I have to.” My lips clasp around hers. “Let me. Let me go, McQueen, so I can be me again one day.”

She wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me closer, my chest weighted more on hers and her ankles pressed into my jean-clad ass. She takes over the kiss as a broken sob mixes between our mouths.

She’s crying, and I’m dying.

I never minded fucking another man’s girl before—I mean, I’m doing it now—but she’s different.

She’s everything.

Wiping away a hot tear with my thumb, I kiss away her sadness for the moment. I drive into her hard, breathing her in this close, aware I’m going to miss how she smells different all the damn time. That raspy voice when I’m balls deep inside her and her body invites me in.

“Nothing is ever going to feel like this,” I admit out of nowhere and why I have to voice everything out loud, I blame the coke. “Never forget me.”

“Never,” she whispers. “Ever.”

I lean over to clasp my mouth around her warm neck. “I’m always gonna want you so bad, baby.”

“I love you, Reevie.”

Her repeated confession causes me to have a lack of judgment because I’m only going to admit this one more time before it never leaves my mouth ever the fuck again.

“I love you, too, baby. I’m sorry for everything I’m going to do to get over this.”

And I thoughtlessly drive into her tight cunt and push away every bad fucking emotion that’s trying to reach us.

I don’t want to think about Torin, Cairo, Ozzy…how I have to move forward and leave this behind.

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