Page 234 of Chaos Kills

It’s just not open to me anymore.

“You know what?” Reeve remarks, running his thumb across his jaw. “You can leave. Wallace can stay. Maybe I can help him out with his addiction problem. It’s a bitch.”

“I don’t bend over,” Levi retorts, still collected and in control of this scenario.

“Oh, don’t worry.” Reeve sends him a playful wink, returning to me not existing in any scenario where it matters. “I’ll play the bitch tonight.”

Levi actually shoves me to the side, opening up the pathway to Reeve, and I’m all but left shocked that he’s sauntering deeper into the room.

Reeve appears equally surprised before he’s back to adopting a cocky tilt of his head that Levi would consider his invitation. “Well, well, well…if it isn’t the fucking day where something works in my favor.”

“Oh, it’s definitely a favor alright,” Levi agrees, slightly towering over Reeve as he gets closer. “I wouldn’t be doing this for anyone else.”

“Now, you’re just laying it on thick. No need to kiss my ass.”

“I haven’t yet.” Then Levi cocks his elbow back and slams his fist into Reeve’s face, sending him tumbling to the floor like a heap of rocks, and he doesn’t come up.

Fuck.

“Geezus,” I clip out, staring at the back of Levi’s head. “Was that necessary?”

Levi peeks over his shoulder at me without an ounce of regret or trepidation in his voice when he says, “Yes.”

FIFTY-THREE

bay

I keep a good distance away,careful to not breathe in the same space Reeve does, and receive that awful glare that has been sent my way as of late.

The more time that goes by, the more I realize how much I really fucked up. How I should’ve let him down more smoothly or maybe come up with a plan B on how this would all work out in the end.

I murdered his carefree spirit, and now I’m looking at an unconscious ghost of who Reeve used to be.

Levi carried him out of the mayor’s house without an issue when he threatened the little shit Reeve was fucking into silence. I believe the words “death” and “never found” were used, but all I could do was stare at Reeve’s unconscious form and consider all the fucked-up things I’d done.

Reeve has been knocked out cold for over an hour, and I wait impatiently on the floor against the wall for him to crack his eyes open so I can…apologize?

Not that it would do any good, but like I’ve told him before, this aggressive and dangerous behavior of doing drugs and fucking anything that walks is starting to really grind on mynerves, and the guilt still festers in my gut each time I have to experience it for myself.

Everything is my fault.

And I’m going to have to live with that.

Yet, I don’t want to exist where he has an accidental overdose, and I never get to see him moving around amongst the land of the living again. To not hear him laugh or smile, or to crack some corny joke no one else finds funny, but that I love about him.

Love.

I have no right to the word.

Not anymore.

But the sentiment is there anyway. Sharp, cold, and unforgiving. Undeniably strong when it comes to him.

“You don’t have to stay in here with me, Oz.” I haven’t been able to shake off his stare from my spine since Levi dropped him off in his room. “I can leave if you’d rather stay in here with him alone.”

A few ticks go by before he answers, “No.”

He won’t leave the room but refuses to get any closer than the door that’s a good three feet away. Meanwhile, I continue to examine all the posters of bands and cut-outs of pictures and Polaroids on Reeve’s walls. There’s a bookshelf next to his mattress that’s still on the floor, filled with CDs, records, and random books.

---